George Carlin Quotes About Money

Quotes about: Money

• Don't give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.

  George Carlin

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  George Carlin (2002). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

• Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man ... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Life, Motivational

• Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Money, Work

  George Carlin (2015). “3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?”, p.206, Hachette UK

• I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Change, Money

  George Carlin (1998). “Brain Droppings”, Hyperion

• If you want to get rid of counterfeit money, put it in the collection plate at church.

  George Carlin

  Money, Church, Want

• Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

  George Carlin

  Funny, Money, Humor

• Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that big hammer slams it on the head of the person who lost the most money that day.

  George Carlin

  Money, Guy, Littles

  George Carlin (2002). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

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