George Carlin Quotes About Sports

Quotes about: Sports

• Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!

  George Carlin

  Sports, Jesus, Stupid

• Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!

  George Carlin

  Funny, Sports, Stupid

  George Carlin (2002). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

• Baseball is the only major sport that appears backwards in a mirror.

  George Carlin

  Sports, Baseball, Mirrors

  George Carlin (1998). “Brain Droppings”, Hyperion

• Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Sports, Humor

  George Carlin (2002). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

• In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use the shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line. In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! I hope I'll be safe at home!

  George Carlin

  Sports, Baseball, Football

• Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?

  George Carlin

  Sports, Mother, Running

  George Carlin (2002). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

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