George Carlin Quotes About Mothers

Quotes about: Mothers

• I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

  George Carlin

  Funny, Sarcastic, Mother

• Sex always has consequences. When Hitler's mother spread her legs that night, she effectively canceled out the spreading of fifteen to twenty million other pairs of legs.

  George Carlin

  Mother, Sex, Night

• By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh.

  George Carlin

  Mother, Voice, Laughing

  Source: reprints.longform.org

• I tell ya, if I hadn't chosen the career of being a performer, I think linguistics would have been a natural area that I'd have loved - to teach it, probably, Language has always fascinated me. There's a genetic inheritance there a good language gene, which I inherited [from my mother and grandfather] and she fostered that in me as he fostered that in her.

  George Carlin

  Mother, Thinking, Careers

  "George Carlin confronts reality" by Todd Leopold, www.cnn.com. October 29, 2004.

• My father and mother separated when I was two months old.

  George Carlin

  Mother, Father, Two

  Source: reprints.longform.org

• Mother's milk leads to everything.

  George Carlin

  Mother, Milk

• I literally didn't know my father. My mother had been a secretary, and after she and my father split, she went back to work for an advertising executive. So my older brother and I were "latch-door kids." We went home for lunch and after school by ourselves.

  George Carlin

  Mother, Brother, Father

  Source: reprints.longform.org

• There is a core of loneliness. It's partly existential. Secondly, I was raised a loner. My parents were not there. My father was asked to leave because he couldn't metabolize ethanol. Actually, my mother ran away with us when I was 2 months old and my brother was 5. Real dramatic stuff: down the fire escape, through backyards. So, I sort of raised myself. I was alone a lot and I invented myself - I lived through the radio and through my imagination.

  George Carlin

  Mother, Brother, Father

  Interview with Ricky Young, www.motherjones.com. March/April 1997.

• My mother didn't get home until about seven most nights and, yes, there was a sense of being very alone after school. She gave me all the proper guidance and influences, but physically, she just couldn't be there.

  George Carlin

  Mother, Home, School

  Source: reprints.longform.org

• I was kind of sweet kid, according my mother, and my recollections. Thoughtful and good, but kind of alone - although I didn't interpret it that way, as such. Children never interpret these things. They think they understand logically.

  George Carlin

  Mother, Sweet, Children

  Source: mavericksofthemind.com

• My mother and her plans for my future. She had it all worked out. I would attend a nice college, then get a job in advertising. "You'll be one of those smart-looking fellows in their Madison Avenue suits." And I rebelled against [my mother] and her values and her plans for my future at every opportunity.

  George Carlin

  Mother, Jobs, Nice

  Source: reprints.longform.org

• My mother and I had a lot of distance between us emotionally, although, on the surface, most of the time, we appeared good and friendly, and all that. But I was a problem. I was a street kid.

  George Carlin

  Mother, Distance, Kids

  Source: mavericksofthemind.com

• The older I got, the more apparent it became that my mother was losing control over me. She fought back fiercely with black moods, silent treatments and martyrdom. And, of course, all she did was run my ass out of the house even quicker. The pressure was unbearable.

  George Carlin

  Mother, Running, Losing Control

  Source: reprints.longform.org

• My grandfather, mother and father were gifted verbally, and my mother passed that along to me. She always made sure I was conscious of language and words.

  George Carlin

  Mother, Father, Language

• There's a part of me that is angry. Not in the sense of, "Gee, George is an angry guy!" I mean, anyone who's been with me five minutes, five years, whatever, they would tell you they've rarely seen me in a moment of anger. Yes, I can become highly irritated in a line that's moving slowly, or with a clerk who's incompetent. But I don't yell. I don't get rude. I am clear about what I expect. In a store, my mother always told me, "Ask for the manager immediately. It changes the tone of the conversation."

  George Carlin

  Mother, Moving, Mean

• I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes

  George Carlin

  Mother, School, Kids

• Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?

  George Carlin

  Sports, Mother, Running

  George Carlin (2002). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

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