George Carlin Quotes About Lawyers

Quotes about: Lawyers

• The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

  George Carlin

  Philosophy, Real, Lying

• If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?

  George Carlin

  Musician, Lawyer, Clergymen

• Have you ever noticed that the lawyer always smiles more than the client?

  George Carlin

  Funny, Stupid, Humor

• If the cops didn't see it, I didn't do it!

  George Carlin

  Funny, Stupid, Humor

• If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn't that weird?

  George Carlin

  Funny, Humorous, Needs

• And although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me.

  George Carlin

  Teenager, Law, Broke

  George Carlin (1998). “Brain Droppings”, Hyperion

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