Rodney Dangerfield Quotes - Page 14

Quotes about:

• When I was born I brought no joy, my father said he wanted a boy!

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Father, Humor

  4 Copy quote

• You live with life's disappointments and learn from them. At seventy-eight, I know it all.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Disappointment, Eight, Know It All

  "Rodney Dangerfield: What I've Learned" by Cal Fussman, www.esquire.com. January 29, 2007.

  4 Copy quote

• I don't get no respect, no respect at all!

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Respect, No Respect

  Song: Rappin' Rodney, Album: Rappin' Rodney

  4 Copy quote

• One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh!

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Mother, Pittsburgh, Found

  10 Copy quote

• If you can't write your own material, you have very little chance of making it as a comedian.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Writing, Comedian, Littles

  Rodney Dangerfield (2009). “It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs”, p.31, Zondervan

  6 Copy quote

• My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Wife, Pounds, Lost

  4 Copy quote

• When I was kidnapped as a child my parents sent a letter to the hijackers me Pay 5,000 dollars or your back

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Children, Parent, Pay

  4 Copy quote

• They change the sheets every day... from one bed to another.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Change, Bed, Sheets

  7 Copy quote

• Cars and women are a lot alike. They lie about the milage.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Lying, Car

  4 Copy quote

• What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol' man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Men, Childhood, My Birthday

  Rodney Dangerfield (2009). “It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs”, p.18, Zondervan

  4 Copy quote

• My wife and I have Olympic sex. Once every four years.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Sex, Years, Wife

  8 Copy quote

• I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Girl, Morning

  9 Copy quote

• Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Sex, Wife, Groups

  6 Copy quote

• When I was forty, I was getting divorced, living in a low-class, dirty hotel in New York. My mother was dying of cancer. I owed $20,000. That was about the lowest. I came back to show business, and I couldn't get a job. I was turned down by every small-time agent in New York.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Mother, Jobs, New York

  "Rodney Dangerfield: What I've Learned" by Cal Fussman, www.esquire.com. January 29, 2007.

  8 Copy quote

• The sign on the bar said: 'girls- topless, bottomless', I went inside and there was nobody there!

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Girl, Humor

  7 Copy quote

• What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Dog, Humor

  8 Copy quote

• Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Men, Waiting, Tides

  Rodney Dangerfield (2009). “It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs”, p.77, Zondervan

  10 Copy quote

• I'm sitting on top of the world, and I've got hemorrhoids.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Sitting, World, Hemorrhoids

  22 Copy quote

• I was so poor growing up...if I wasn't a boy...I'd have nothing to play with.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Inspiring, Money

  7 Copy quote

• I'm a downer. I've been depressed my whole life. Figure it out.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Figures, Whole Life, Downers

  "Rodney Dangerfield: What I've Learned" by Cal Fussman, www.esquire.com. January 29, 2007.

  17 Copy quote

• My cousin is gay, I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Cousin, Humor

  4 Copy quote

• I don't know kid, there are so many places they could hide.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Kids, Knows

  4 Copy quote

• Man, who don't like spaghetti?

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Men, Spaghetti

  "Rodney Dangerfield: What I've Learned" by Cal Fussman, www.esquire.com. January 29, 2007.

  12 Copy quote

• I drink too much, way too much; my doctor drew blood he ran a tab!

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Doctors, Blood, Too Much

  5 Copy quote

• At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Time, Fighting, Men

  27 Copy quote

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