Rodney Dangerfield Quotes About Morning

Quotes about: Morning

• My life is nothing but pressure. All pressure. This pressure is like a heaviness. It's always on top of me, this heaviness. It's always there since I'm a kid. Other people wake up in the morning, 'A new day! Ah, up and at 'em!' I wake up, the heaviness is waiting for me nice. Sometimes I even talk to it. I say [adopts cheerful voice] 'Hi, heaviness!' and the heaviness looks back at me, [in an ominous growl] 'Today you're gonna get it good. You'll be drinking early today.'

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Morning, Nice, Drinking

  "Rodney Dangerfield's It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime Of No Respect But Plenty Of Sex And Drugs" by Nathan Rabin, film.avclub.com. April 28, 2011.

• I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off, I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Morning, Sex

• My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Good Morning, Mother

• This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Morning, Laughing, Guy

• I went to see my doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...I told him once, "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" He said, "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Morning, Humor

• I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Girl, Morning

• When you walk up five flights of stairs at four in the morning, there's definitely a hooker involved.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Morning, Four, Flight

  "Rodney Dangerfield: What I've Learned" by Cal Fussman, www.esquire.com. January 29, 2007.

• With sex my wife thinks twice before she turns me down. Yeah, once in the morning and once at night.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Morning, Sex, Night

  Rodney Dangerfield (2009). “It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs”, p.117, Zondervan

• People ask if I can get it up in the morning. I tell them are you kidding I'm envious of a stiff wind.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Morning, Wind, People

• I got myself good this morning too. I did my pushups in the nude, I didn't see the mouse trap.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Good Morning, Humor

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