My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
When my wife drives, there's always trouble. The other day she took the car. She came home. She told me, There's water in the carburetor. I asked her, Where's the car? She said, In a lake.
My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, "Did you see the guy that did it?" She said, "No, but I got the license plate."
My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!
Cars and women are a lot alike. They lie about the milage.
I came from a real tough neighborhood. On my street, the kids take hubcaps - from moving cars.
With my old man I got no respect. When he took me hunting he gave me a three minute head start. Then on the way home he tied me to the fender and put the deer in the car.
I bought a new Japanese car, I turned on the radio ... I don't understand a word they're saying.
I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, The car behind me is paying for two.
I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.
I went to look for a used car and found my wife's dress in the back seat.
Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Every day we present the best quotes! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends
or simply: