I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
I tell ya, I was an ugly kid. I was so ugly that my dad kept the kid's picture that came with the wallet he bought.
Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!
Dad told me to stop running in circles, I couldn't, so he nailed down my other foot!
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