I hate decaffeinated coffee. It's useless brown water.
Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90% water.
The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The hot dog vendors got confused because of the weather and thought it was spring, so they accidentally changed the hot dog water in their carts.
One of the dogs in the competition, a Portuguese Water Dog, is related to President Obama's dog, Bo. But they only see each other at funerals and weddings.
Public service announcement: In case of a terrorist attack, bottled water and duct tape are not going to do a damn thing. So do what Homeland Security Dir. Tom Ridge does: Get really drunk, and pick up a hooker.
It's autumn in New York. The colors are changing yellow, the browns, the greens, the oranges. And that's just the tap water.
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