David Letterman Quotes About Osama Bin Laden

Quotes about: Osama Bin Laden

• We're learning more about Osama bin Laden. His father was married 16 times, and he has five wives. I think we're getting to the root of his intense anger. And they say bin Laden never spends the night in the same place twice. No, wait a minute, that's Clinton.

  David Letterman

  Father, Night, Thinking

• Osama bin Laden was living in that compound with three wives. It's like he was Newt Gingrich.

  David Letterman

  Wife, Three, Osama Bin Laden

• What we know about Osama Bin Laden is this: he's worth $300 million, he has five wives and twenty-six kids -- and he hates Americans for their "excessive" lifestyle.

  David Letterman

  Hate, Kids, Wife

• This Osama bin Laden, now they say he has had plastic surgery. They say he sneaked across the border into Pakistan, which by the way is the place to go to have plastic surgery. He looks great. A tourist came up to him earlier this week and said, 'May I have your autograph, Mr. Hasselhoff?'

  David Letterman

  Tourists, Borders, Looks

• They found a scrapbook with photos of Osama bin Laden from the '90s, and they're studying each and every photo very, very closely. My favorite shot of Osama bin Laden was right between the eyes.

  David Letterman

  Eye, Study, Osama Bin Laden

• Did you hear this? They say now Osama bin Laden and his buddy Mullah Omar have left Afghanistan dressed as women. They dressed up as women and went across the border into Pakistan. I think they're going to make a movie about it. They're going to call it 'Some like it Jihad.'

  David Letterman

  Thinking, Borders, Pakistan

• Today would have been the birthday of Osama bin Laden. It makes me remember when Seal Team 6 threw him a surprise party.

  David Letterman

  Team, Party, Today

• We are starting to learn more about Osama bin Laden. For his birthday one year, somebody gave him a $4 Timex. We know that. He is married to the daughter of a guy named Mullah Muhammed Omar. I think her name is Tiffany Omar. Insiders say that the marriage is not working out. Apparently they are living in separate caves.

  David Letterman

  Daughter, Thinking, Years

• Now there are reports that Osama bin Laden would like to commit suicide on television. This is the kind of lead-in I have been praying for every since I came to CBS. Bin Laden is planning a televised suicide or, as I call it, hosting the Academy Awards.

  David Letterman

  Suicide, Awards, Television

• Every day we learn more and more about this wacky Osama bin Laden. He lives in a cave and at one time he was a womanizer. But now he has settled down with his five wives and 26 kids, so that's now all over. ... He also had a drinking problem at one time. I believe he went through 'Jihab'

  David Letterman

  Drinking, Believe, Kids

• The CIA special unit that was searching for Osama bin Laden has been disbanded. So I guess, mission accomplished.

  David Letterman

  Special, Osama Bin Laden, Disbanded

• There's already been some trouble for Osama bin Laden in the afterlife. There was a mix up and he was greeted by 72 vegans.

  David Letterman

  Afterlife, Vegan, Osama Bin Laden

• Osama bin Laden has ten look-alikes to fool us Americans. Ten look-alikes, and he's married to five of them.

  David Letterman

  Looks, Fool, Married

• Osama bin Laden... lived in one house for, like, six years with three wives. And earlier today, they ruled his death was a suicide.

  David Letterman

  Suicide, Years, Wife

• They found a cave once lived in by Osama bin Laden and the only thing in the cave were some boxer undershorts, and macaroni. I'm telling you, you add an old stack of Playboys, this could be my place. It's like I have a twin.

  David Letterman

  Add, Caves, Boxers

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