David Letterman Quotes About Drinking

Quotes about: Drinking

• Thanksgiving is the day when you turn to another family member and say, 'How long has Mom been drinking like this?' My Mom, after six Bloody Marys looks at the turkey and goes, 'Here, kitty, kitty.'

  David Letterman

  Thanksgiving, Mom, Drinking

• When you think about flying, it's nuts really. Here you are at about 40,000 feet, screaming along at 700 miles an hour and you're sitting there drinking Diet Pepsi and eating peanuts. It just doesn't make any sense.

  David Letterman

  Drinking, Thinking, Nuts

• Economists believe there are three reasons why the Russian economy is doing so poorly. One, economic sanctions are working. Number two, low-price oil. And number three, Lindsay Lohan has quit drinking vodka.

  David Letterman

  Drinking, Believe, Economic Sanctions

• St. Patrick's Day is the fourth biggest drinking day in America. It's not the biggest. It's right behind New Year's Eve, Fourth of July, or any Secret Service party.

  David Letterman

  New Year, Party, Drinking

• Some Secret Service guys crashed a car into the White House. And they had been drinking when it happened. Actually, they hit a barrier trying to get to the White House. It's the same thing that is happening to Hillary.

  David Letterman

  Drinking, White, Car

• Kim Jong Il made his staff call him “dear” and spent the day drinking cognac. It's like I have a twin, ladies and gentlemen.

  David Letterman

  Drinking, Gentleman, Cognac

• You're not really drinking coffee unless you drink it black, don't you think? Oh, no? You like to monkey with it?

  David Letterman

  Drinking, Coffee, Thinking

• Every day we learn more and more about this wacky Osama bin Laden. He lives in a cave and at one time he was a womanizer. But now he has settled down with his five wives and 26 kids, so that's now all over. ... He also had a drinking problem at one time. I believe he went through 'Jihab'

  David Letterman

  Drinking, Believe, Kids

• President Bush wants to build a space station on the moon. And from the moon, he wants to launch people to Mars. You know what this means. He's been drinking again.

  David Letterman

  Drinking, Mean, Moon

• You know, Sarah Palin is the Governor of Alaska, you know that. And she's a lifelong member of the National Rifle Association. So great, is what I'm thinking, another vice president that shoots a drinking buddy; just get ready.

  David Letterman

  Drinking, Thinking, Alaska

• Ted Cruz could be president of the United States. If you thought the Secret Service was drinking before

  David Letterman

  Drinking, Secret, President

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