Henny Youngman Quotes - Page 9

Quotes about:

• I asked a Jewish man, "Do you know where Michigan Avenue is?" He said, "Yes", and walked away.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Humor, Men

  5 Copy quote

• Farrah's dressing room was next to mine. There was a little hole in the wall. I let her look.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Wall, Humor

  8 Copy quote

• Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Horse, Winning

  4 Copy quote

• All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.

  Henny Youngman

  Home, Men, Homeless

  6 Copy quote

• He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Humor, Men

  7 Copy quote

• I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Time, Humor

  7 Copy quote

• I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?

  Henny Youngman

  Idiot, Paid

  Henny Youngman (1994). “Henny Youngman's Bar Jokes, Bar Bets and Bar Tricks”, Outlet

  4 Copy quote

• Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!

  Henny Youngman

  Hitting, Behinds

  7 Copy quote

• My wife and I got remarried. Our divorce didn't work out.

  Henny Youngman

  Divorce, Work Out, Wife

  5 Copy quote

• If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?

  Henny Youngman

  Hell, Young, Jokes

  Henny Youngman, Neal Karlen (1992). “Take my life, please!”, Thorndike Pr

  4 Copy quote

• My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.

  Henny Youngman

  Wife, Sense Of Humor, My Wife

  4 Copy quote

• I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Humor, Years

  6 Copy quote

• Now, the band that inspired that great saying, "Stop The Music!!"

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Humor, Band

  4 Copy quote

• My son is 21. He'll be 22 if I let him.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Family, Humor

  4 Copy quote

• A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.

  Henny Youngman

  Giving Up, Dollars, Motels

  10 Copy quote

• In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.

  Henny Youngman

  Education, Teaching, School

  17 Copy quote

• He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Might, Comedy

  Henny Youngman (1994). “Henny Youngman's Bar Jokes, Bar Bets and Bar Tricks”, Outlet

  4 Copy quote

• My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Family, Brother

  72 Copy quote

• My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Horse, Home

  4 Copy quote

• Let's get up here before we get killed!

  Henny Youngman

  Get Up

  5 Copy quote

• "What's the latest dope on Wall Street?" "My son!"

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Wall, Humor

  8 Copy quote

• There is no spark like the one ignited under the aspirations of a new graduate.

  Henny Youngman

  Graduation, Memorable, Sparks

  6 Copy quote

• She has a wash and wear bridal gown.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Humor, Gowns

  11 Copy quote

• She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, "Tut, Tut!"

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Humor, Kissing

  8 Copy quote

• How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Humor, People

  5 Copy quote

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