Henny Youngman Quotes About Home

Quotes about: Home

• A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?

  Henny Youngman

  Husband, Fall, Home

• What is a home without children? Quiet.

  Henny Youngman

  Baby, Children, Silly

  Henny Youngman (1994). “Henny Youngman's Bar Jokes, Bar Bets and Bar Tricks”, Outlet

• Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Marriage, Women

• My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Horse, Home

• I came home, the car was in the dining room. "How did you get the car in here?" "Easy, I took a left at the kitchen."

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Home, Humor

• All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.

  Henny Youngman

  Home, Men, Homeless

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