Jokes Quotes

• It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use, from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes.

  Thomas Aquinas

  Inspirational, Peace, Powerful

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• A joke is a very serious thing.

  Winston Churchill

  Funny, Humorous, Serious Things

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  I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

  Joan Rivers

  Funny, Hilarious, Hate

  Quoted in Michele Brown and Ann O'Connor, Woman Talk (1984)

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• The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow.

  H. G. Wells

  Life, Second Chance, Today

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• There's no harm in talking to yourself, but try to avoid telling yourself jokes you've heard before.

  Ashleigh Brilliant

  Talking, Trying, Harm

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• I don't like the phrase shock value. Surprise is essential in comedy, and if people are shocked by what I consider merely surprising, then that's their shock. But there is no joke without surprise.

  George Carlin

  People, Essentials, Phrases

  Interview with Sam Merrill, reprints.longform.org. January 1982.

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• Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant.

  Washington Irving

  Happiness, Laughter, Wine

  Washington Irving (2015). “The Complete Works of Washington Irving: Short Stories, Plays, Historical Works, Poetry and Autobiographical Writings (Illustrated): The Entire Opus of the Prolific American Writer, Biographer and Historian, Including The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, Rip Van Winkle, The Sketch Book of Geoffrey Crayon, Bracebridge Hall and many more”, p.217, e-artnow

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• One time I picked it up and a voice goes, 'Hi, it's Sinatra. Can you play me a record?' I was like, 'Oh yeah, very funny,' and hung up. I thought someone was having a joke, but it was actually Frank. My manager told me there aren't many people who put the phone down on Sinatra.

  Tony Blackburn

  Phones, Play, Voice

  Source: www.mirror.co.uk

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• The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.

  David Ogilvy

  Creativity, Humor, Thinking

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• When I was a child, if someone had talked to me about buying water, I would have thought it was a joke.

  Assata Shakur

  Children, Water, Buying

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• Televison allows thousands of people to laugh at the same joke and still remain alone.

  Bertrand Russell

  People, Laughing, Internet

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• A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.

  Ludwig Wittgenstein

  Philosophy, Philosophical, Humor

  Garth Hallett, Ludwig Wittgenstein (1977). “A companion to Wittgenstein's "Philosophical investigations"”, Cornell Univ Pr

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• Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

  Jim Carrey

  Funny, Laughter, Women

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• The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Witty, Time

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• I really like the animated film process. It's kind of like doing a play, because you can experiment with it, rewrite it, screen it, go back, then work on it a little bit more. If the joke doesn't work, you can fix it. It's different from a live action movie.

  Steve Martin

  Play, Different, Littles

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• I can't find someone funny whom I don't like. Hitler told great jokes. I didn't find it funny at all.

  Ricky Gervais

  I Can

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• In Germany, you would be hanged if you cracked a joke about Hitler and you would be killed by the state if you were insane in a project of euthanasia.

  Werner Herzog

  Insane, Germany, Would Be

  "Werner Herzog INTO THE ABYSS Interview". Interview with Sheila Roberts, collider.com. November 9, 2011.

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• The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded.

  George Orwell

  Humility, Fools Day, Aggravation

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• I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

  Woody Allen

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  "Death: A Comedy in One Act". Book by Woody Allen, 1975.

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• Robin Williams is great; it's just like having a conversation when you're doing a scene with him really. It's just so relaxed on the set whenever he's around. Also he's just always telling jokes; he's always on. It must be funny for him though because he must think everyone's brain goes so much slower than his. He's working overtime on all these different ideas that pop into his head. Everyone else must feel miles behind!

  Freddie Highmore

  Thinking, Ideas, Brain

  "Freddie Highmore On August Rush: The Rt Interview". Interview with Joe Utichi, editorial.rottentomatoes.com. November 20, 2007.

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• I've never been able to tell jokes. In the beginning of my career I did impressions and jokes like any other comedian, but I was never very successful because I did it poorly. So I started to talk to the audience and started talking about the atmosphere around me and started to become angry, not in a mean-spirited way, but in a fun way - and my attitude developed from there.

  Don Rickles

  Fun, Attitude, Mean

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• Even the gods love jokes.

  Plato

  Love, Funny Inspirational, Laughter

  Socrates, Plato, Aristotle (1967). “Wit and Wisdom of Socrates, Plato, Aristotle: Being a Treasury of Thousands of Glorious, Inspiring and Imperishable Thoughts, Views and Observations of the Three Great Greek Philosophers, Classified Under about Four Hundred Subjects for Comparative Study”

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• I do wear wigs. ... I sometimes make the joke about me standing on a hilltop with my hair blowing in the wind - and me too proud to run after it.

  Dolly Parton

  Running, Hair, Wind

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• A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.

  George Orwell

  Dirty, Naughty, Nasty

  Horizon Sept. 1941 "The Art of Donald McGill"

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• When I make a joke, nobody gets injured... when Congress makes a joke, it's the law.

  Will Rogers

  Law, Congress, Injured

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