Funny Inspirational Quotes

• Life is like the stock market. Some days you're up. Some days you're down. And some days you feel like something the bull left behind.

  Paula Wall

  Funny, Life Is Like, Bulls

  9 Copy quote

• There is no magic to achievement. It's really about hard work, choices, and persistence.

  Michelle Obama

  Inspirational, Hard Work, Persistence

  515 Copy quote

• Good things come to those who hustle

  Chuck Noll

  Fitness, Patience, Workout

  110 Copy quote
• 

  Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.

  Wayne Dyer

  Inspirational, Motivational, Positive

  FaceBook post by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer from Jul 12, 2010

  125 Copy quote

  Show source

• If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one.

  Dolly Parton

  Inspirational, Funny, Inspiring

  Twitter post from Sep 09, 2009

  96 Copy quote

  Show source
• 

  A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

  Emo Philips

  Funny, Motivational Sports, Humorous

  172 Copy quote

• If life gives you lemons, make apple juice and make people wonder how the hell you did it.

  Gurbaksh Chahal

  Apples, People, Giving

  170 Copy quote

• Until you have learned to be tolerant with those who do not always agree with you; until you have cultivated the habit of saying some kind word of those whom you do not admire; until you have formed the habit of looking for the good instead of the bad there is in others, you will be neither successful nor happy.

  Napoleon Hill

  Happiness, Success, Diversity

  Napoleon Hill (2008). “The Law of Success: The Master Wealth-Builder's Complete and Original Lesson Plan forAchieving Your Dreams”, p.503, Penguin

  93 Copy quote

  Show source
• 

  Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.

  Truman Capote

  Inspirational, Motivational, Positive

  Truman Capote, M. Thomas Inge (1987). “Truman Capote: Conversations”, p.189, Univ. Press of Mississippi

  111 Copy quote

  Show source

• Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from their neck saying, 'Make me feel important.' Never forget this message when working with people.

  Mary Kay Ash

  Funny, Motivational, Appreciation

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  27 Copy quote

  Show source

• Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

  Will Rogers

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  "The Graduation Speech I'd Give, if Anyone Asked" by Karina Bland, www.azcentral.com. June 03, 2015.

  335 Copy quote

  Show source

• If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

  Mark Twain

  Life, Cheating, Clever

  Mark Twain (2010). “Mark Twain's Own Autobiography: The Chapters from the North American Review”, p.43, Univ of Wisconsin Press

  360 Copy quote

  Show source

• If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Firsts, Succeed

  54 Copy quote

• Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

  Dale Carnegie

  Funny, Faith, Time

  Dale Carnegie (2010). “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”, p.372, Simon and Schuster

  2476 Copy quote

  Show source

• Life isn't finding shelter in the storm. It's about learning to dance in the rain.

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Inspirational, Life, Motivational

  128 Copy quote

• Minds are like parachutes, they only function when they are open.

  James Dewar

  Funny, Education, Attitude

  125 Copy quote

• If we threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

  Regina Brett

  Life, Success, Saws

  27 Copy quote

• Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!

  Dr. Seuss

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  "Happy Birthday to You!". Book by Dr. Seuss, 1959.

  214 Copy quote

  Show source

• If you rest, you rust.

  Helen Hayes

  Funny, Life, Perseverance

  Helen Hayes, Katherine Hatch (1991). “My life in three acts”

  69 Copy quote

  Show source

• Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.

  Kyle Chandler

  Inspirational, Funny, Inspiring

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  58 Copy quote

  Show source
• 

  Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.

  Robert Louis Stevenson

  Inspirational, Life, Motivational

  432 Copy quote

• There are no traffic jams along the extra mile.

  Roger Staubach

  Inspirational, Motivational, Positive

  71 Copy quote

• If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Success, Clever

  81 Copy quote

• The road to success is always under construction.

  Lily Tomlin

  Funny, Inspiring, Success

  180 Copy quote

• If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody who's life gives them vodka, and have a party.

  Ron White

  Funny, Giving, I Believe

  "Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again". Comedy, Documentary, www.imdb.com. 2004.

  756 Copy quote

  Show source