Funny Inspirational Quotes - Page 2

• The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand.

  Vince Lombardi

  Inspirational, Motivational, Success

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

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• We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Life, Motivational, Positive

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  624 Copy quote

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• An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Laughter, Food

  121 Copy quote

• If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

  Phyllis Diller

  Humor, Wrinkles, Enough

  131 Copy quote

• Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

  Thomas A. Edison

  Funny, Life, Motivational

  "An Enemy Called Average". Book by John L. Mason, 1990.

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• The difference between an optimist and a pessimist? An optimist laughs to forget, but a pessimist forgets to laugh.

  Tom Bodett

  Inspirational, Funny, Differences

  40 Copy quote

• To solve the human equation, we need to add love, subtract hate, multiply good, and divide between truth and error.

  Janet Coleman

  Funny, Hate, Errors

  86 Copy quote

• You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.

  Sam Levenson

  Inspirational, Inspiring, Wisdom

  Sam Levenson (2016). “You Don't Have to Be in Who's Who to Know What's What: The Choice Wit and Wisdom of Sam Levenson”, p.87, Open Road Media

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  You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.

  Winston Churchill

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  1479 Copy quote

• I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.

  Will Rogers

  Inspirational, Funny, Worry

  88 Copy quote

• The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.

  Ann Landers

  Being Happy, Funny Valentines Day, Funny Marriage

  51 Copy quote

• Tough times never last, but tough people do.

  Robert H. Schuller

  Inspirational, Life, Motivational

  Robert H. Schuller (1993). “Robert H Schuller: The Inspirational Writings : Tough Times Never Last, But Tough People Do/Tough Minded Faith for Tender Hearted People”, Bbs Publishing Corporation

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• The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.

  Helen Hayes

  Funny, Life, Witty

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes".

  31 Copy quote

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• Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.

  James Bryant Conant

  Motivational, Courage, Funny Life

  Personal Quote, www.imdb.com.

  67 Copy quote

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• We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know.

  W. H. Auden

  Inspirational, Funny, Helping Others

  W H Auden (1981). “Antæus”, Ecco Press

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• When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'

  Sydney J. Harris

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  Sydney J. Harris (1953). “Strictly personal”

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• Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Life, Happiness

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  658 Copy quote

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  People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

  Isaac Asimov

  Funny, Hilarious, Sarcastic

  "The Mammoth Book of Zingers, Quips, and One-Liners" edited by Geoff Tibballs, (p. 299), 2004.

  383 Copy quote

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  To become truly great, one has to stand with people, not above them.

  Baron de Montesquieu

  Leadership, Integrity, Philosophical

  196 Copy quote

• Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.

  Charles M. Schulz

  Funny, Life, Happiness

  121 Copy quote

• I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Hate, Humorous

  "Laugh Off: The Comedy Showdown Between Real Life and the Pros". Book by Bob Fenster, 2005.

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• Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

  Robert Bloch

  Funny, Hilarious, Humor

  84 Copy quote

• Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.

  Charles M. Schulz

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  979 Copy quote

• Never follow anyone else's path, unless you're in the woods and you're lost.

  Ellen DeGeneres

  Graduation, Funny Motivational, Woods

  "12 Inspiring Graduation Speeches by Amazing Women" by Kelly Conniff, time.com. May 18, 2014.

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• The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.

  Will Rogers

  Inspirational, Funny, Success

  270 Copy quote