Steven Wright Quotes About Today

Quotes about: Today

• I turned my air conditioner the other way around and it got cold out. The weatherman said 'I don't understand it. It was supposed to be 80 degrees out today.' I said, oops

  Steven Wright

  Home, Air, Understanding

• If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Zero, Humor

• Today I dialed a wrong number... The other person said, "Hello?" and I said, "Hello, could I speak to Joey?"... They said, "Uh... I don't think so... he's only 2 months old." I said, "I'll wait."

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Humor, Thinking

• I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.

  Steven Wright

  Food, Humor, Cooking

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