Steven Wright Quotes About Running

Quotes about: Running

• One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read"

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Running, Time

• When I was five years old I was on a merry go round. There was a gunshot nearby. The horses stampeded. There I was running down the street on a purple wooden horse.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Running, Horse

• Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity. If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head. If you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Life, Running

• What do batteries run on?

  Steven Wright

  Running, Home, Energy

• When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Running, Brother

• For a while I didn't have a car . . . I had a helicopter . . . no place to park it, so I just tied it to a lamp post and left it running. [slow glance upward]

  Steven Wright

  Running, Justice, Car

• Doing stand-up is like running across a frozen pond with the ice breaking behind you. I love it because it's dangerous.

  Steven Wright

  Running, Ice, Ponds

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