Steven Wright Quotes About Justice

Quotes about: Justice

• In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said 'cut it out'

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Home, Humor

• Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Humor, Justice

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

• A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street and . . . ooooohhhhhh, that's much better.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Friendship, Humor

• Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Travel, Memories

• I bought a dog the other day. . . . I named him Stay. It's fun to call him. . . . "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.

  Steven Wright

  Dog, Fun, Justice

• Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

  Steven Wright

  Cat, Justice, Cooking

• I was born by Caesarian section . . . but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Humor, Justice

• I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open.

  Steven Wright

  Doors, Justice, Garage

• For a while I didn't have a car . . . I had a helicopter . . . no place to park it, so I just tied it to a lamp post and left it running. [slow glance upward]

  Steven Wright

  Running, Justice, Car

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