Steven Wright Quotes About Speed

Quotes about: Speed

• I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.

  Steven Wright

  Reading, Speed, Bookmarks

• If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Humor, Light

• I was in a job interview and I opened a book and started reading. Then I said to the guy 'Let me ask you a question. If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?' He said 'I don't know'. I said 'I don't want your job'.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Jobs, Book

• I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I said, 'oh, that's OK, I'm not going that far.'

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Humor, Limits

• I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Humor, Thinking

• OK, so what's the speed of dark?

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Humor, Dark

  "Believe the hype: Yankees catcher Gary Sanchez might be the real deal" by DJ Gallo, www.theguardian.com. September 1, 2016.

• I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Humor, Waiting

• The speed of time is one second per second.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Humor, Speed

• If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Humor, Light

• Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Humor, Lightning

• I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done.

  Steven Wright

  Reading, Machines, Done

• facebook
• twitter
• googleplus
• email
• linkedin

• facebook
• twitter
• googleplus
• email
• linkedin