Erma Bombeck Quotes - Page 3

Quotes about:

• Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.

  Erma Bombeck

  Brain, Done, Damage

  7 Copy quote

• Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn't turn it on.

  Erma Bombeck

  Children, Ideas, Two

  21 Copy quote

• One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.

  Erma Bombeck

  Sarcastic, Children, Funny Life

  Erma Bombeck (1997). “Forever, Erma: Best-Loved Writing From America's Favorite Humorist”, p.153, Andrews McMeel Publishing

  28 Copy quote

• A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.

  Erma Bombeck

  Growing Up, Zippers, Grandparent

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “Forever, Erma: Best-Loved Writing From America's Favorite Humorist”, p.230, Open Road Media

  33 Copy quote

• A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.

  Erma Bombeck

  Relationship, Fun, Halloween

  27 Copy quote

• Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.

  Erma Bombeck

  Inspirational, Laughter, Humor

  11 Copy quote

• Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

  Erma Bombeck

  Inspirational, Funny, Travel

  150 Copy quote

• Never accept a drink from a urologist.

  Erma Bombeck

  Funny, Drinking, Humor

  7 Copy quote

• Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.

  Erma Bombeck

  Running, Bored, Elude

  8 Copy quote

• Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.

  Erma Bombeck

  Home, Forever, Spices

  38 Copy quote

• When humor go's, there go's civilization.

  Erma Bombeck

  Civilization, Sense Of Humor

  18 Copy quote

• Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.

  Erma Bombeck

  Sunset, Kids, Thinking

  21 Copy quote

• Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.

  Erma Bombeck

  Sports, Football, Shopping

  19 Copy quote

• I remember thinking how often we look, but never see ... we listen, but never hear ... we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.

  Erma Bombeck

  Laughter, Thinking, Voice

  "A Marriage Made In Heaven; or, Too Tired For an Affair". Book by Erma Bombeck, 1993.

  33 Copy quote

• It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have...One pair that see through closed doors. Another in the back of her head...and, of course, the ones in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and reflect 'I understand and I love you' without so much as uttering a word.

  Erma Bombeck

  Mom, Mother, Children

  40 Copy quote

• Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation's compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.

  Erma Bombeck

  4th Of July, Caring, Compassion

  27 Copy quote

• One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.

  Erma Bombeck

  Husband, Wife, Different

  12 Copy quote

• There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

  Erma Bombeck

  Christmas, Spiritual, Morning

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “Forever, Erma: Best-Loved Writing From America's Favorite Humorist”, p.260, Open Road Media

  36 Copy quote

• Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.

  Erma Bombeck

  Women, Seems

  Erma Bombeck (2011). “At Wit's End”, p.215, Fawcett

  19 Copy quote

• As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.

  Erma Bombeck

  Children, Book, School

  54 Copy quote

• I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

  Erma Bombeck

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  94 Copy quote

• Never underestimate what it takes to watch someone you love in pain.

  Erma Bombeck

  Pain, Watches, Someone You Love

  4 Copy quote

• It's frightening to wake up one morning and discover that while you were asleep you went out of style.

  Erma Bombeck

  Morning, Style, Wake Up

  Erma Bombeck (1996). “Four of a Kind: A Suburban Field Guide”, Bbs Publishing Corporation

  6 Copy quote

• I read one psychologist's theory that said, "Never strike a child in your anger." When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he's recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?

  Erma Bombeck

  Family, Children, Sunday

  23 Copy quote

• Children make your life important.

  Erma Bombeck

  Children, Important, Literature

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank”, p.268, Open Road Media

  24 Copy quote

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