Erma Bombeck Quotes About House

Quotes about: House

• You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.

  Erma Bombeck

  4th Of July, Food, Patriotic

• All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.

  Erma Bombeck

  Funny Inspirational, Children, Parenting

• He opened the jar of pickles when no one else could. He was the only one in the house who wasn't afraid to go into the basement by himself. He cut himself shaving, but no one kissed it or got excited about it. It was understood when it rained, he got the car and brought it around to the door. When anyone was sick, he went out to get the prescription filled. He took lots of pictures... but he was never in them.

  Erma Bombeck

  Daughter, Father, Cutting

• I remember thinking how often we look, but never see ... we listen, but never hear ... we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.

  Erma Bombeck

  Laughter, Thinking, Voice

  "A Marriage Made In Heaven; or, Too Tired For an Affair". Book by Erma Bombeck, 1993.

• I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows.

  Erma Bombeck

  Giving, House, Labels

• Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it's still snowing.

  Erma Bombeck

  Mom, Children, Home

• Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, 'A house guest,' you're wrong because I have just described my kids.

  Erma Bombeck

  Kids, Parenting, Swag

• House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.

  Erma Bombeck

  Long, House, Literature

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “Forever, Erma: Best-Loved Writing From America's Favorite Humorist”, p.297, Open Road Media

• I learned the importance of a man's chair early in life. I learned that he may love several wives, embrace several cars, be true to more than one political philosophy, and be equally committed to several careers, but he will have only one comfortable chair in his life. I learned it will be an ugly chair. It will match nothing in the entire house. It will never wear out.

  Erma Bombeck

  Philosophy, Men, Careers

• I was a closet pacifier advocate. So were most of my friends. Unknown to our mothers, we owned thirty or forty of those little suckers that were placed strategically around the house so a cry could be silenced in less than thirty seconds. Even though bottles were boiled, rooms disinfected, and germs fought one on one, no one seemed to care where the pacifier had been.

  Erma Bombeck

  Mother, House, Bottles

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “Motherhood: The Second Oldest Profession”, p.38, Open Road Media

• No baby shall at any time be quartered in a house where there are no soft laps, no laughter, or no love.

  Erma Bombeck

  Baby, Laughter, House

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “Forever, Erma: Best-Loved Writing From America's Favorite Humorist”, p.46, Open Road Media

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