Erma Bombeck Quotes About Motherhood

Quotes about: Motherhood

• When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

  Erma Bombeck

  Funny, Family, Mom

• When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.

  Erma Bombeck

  Inspirational, Mothers Day, Mom

• Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a gift certificate for a flu shot, dump him.

  Erma Bombeck

  Mother, Memorable, Men

• Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it's still snowing.

  Erma Bombeck

  Mom, Children, Home

• The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to function, a mother must have her children believe she has never engaged in sex, never made a bad decision, never caused her own mother a moment's anxiety, and was never a child.

  Erma Bombeck

  Mother, Art, Sex

  Erma Bombeck (1996). “Four of a Kind: A Suburban Field Guide”, Bbs Publishing Corporation

• Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake.

  Erma Bombeck

  Funny, Mother, Humorous

• Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.

  Erma Bombeck

  Mom, Mother, White

• Motherhood is the second oldest profession in the world. It never questions age, height, religious preference, health, political affiliation, citizenship, morality, ethnic background, marital status, economic level, convenience, or previous experience.

  Erma Bombeck

  Religious, Motherhood, Political

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “Motherhood: The Second Oldest Profession”, p.8, Open Road Media

• It's [motherhood] the biggest on-the-job- training program in existence today.

  Erma Bombeck

  Jobs, Motherhood, Training

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank”, p.165, Open Road Media

• Motherhood isn't just a series of contractions; it's a state of mind. From the moment we know life is inside us, we feel a responsibility to protect and defend that human being.

  Erma Bombeck

  Responsibility, Motherhood, Mind

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “Forever, Erma: Best-Loved Writing From America's Favorite Humorist”, p.240, Open Road Media

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