Erma Bombeck Quotes About Home

Quotes about: Home

• Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.

  Erma Bombeck

  Summer, Mother, Hurt

• Someday, when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a mother, I'll tell them: I loved you enough to bug you about where you were going, with whom and what time you would get home. ... I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover your friend was a creep. I loved you enough to make you return a Milky Way with a bite out of it to a drugstore and confess, 'I stole this.' ... But most of all I loved you enough to say no when you hated me for it. That was the hardest part of all.

  Erma Bombeck

  Mother, Children, Home

• Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it's still snowing.

  Erma Bombeck

  Mom, Children, Home

• Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.

  Erma Bombeck

  Home, Forever, Spices

• Some say the antique syndrome surfaced to offset the newness of the land, the homes, and the settlers. Some say the interest was initiated by a desire to return to the roots of yesterday. I contend the entire movement to acquire antiques was born out of sheer respect of things that lasted longer than fifteen minutes.

  Erma Bombeck

  Home, Roots, Yesterday

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank”, p.26, Open Road Media

• For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.

  Erma Bombeck

  Inspirational, Funny, Marriage

• When you look like your passport photo, it's time to go home.

  Erma Bombeck

  Travel, Home, Humor

  Erma Bombeck (1997). “Forever, Erma: Best-Loved Writing From America's Favorite Humorist”, p.2, Andrews McMeel Publishing

• You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and I'll show you an orphan.

  Erma Bombeck

  Mother, Home, Boys

• You become about as exciting as your food blender. The kids come in, look you in the eye, and ask if anybody's home.

  Erma Bombeck

  Children, Home, Kids

• Maybe you know why a child can reject a hot dog with mustard served on a soft bun at home, yet eat six of them two hours later at fifty cents each.

  Erma Bombeck

  Dog, Children, Food

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?”, p.111, Open Road Media

• Most mothers entering the labor market outside the home are naive. They stagger home each evening, holding mail in their teeth, the cleaning over their arm, a lamb chop defrosting under each armpit, balancing two gallons of frozen milk between their knees, and expect one of the kids to get the door.

  Erma Bombeck

  Mother, Home, Kids

• I'm real ambivalent about [working mothers]. Those of use who have been in the women's movement for a long time know that we've talked a good game of "go out and fulfill your dreams" and "be everything you were meant to be." But by the same token, we want daughters-in-law who are going to stay home and raise our grandchildren.

  Erma Bombeck

  Daughter, Mother, Dream

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