Erma Bombeck Quotes About Dogs

Quotes about: Dogs

• When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later.

  Erma Bombeck

  Dog, Morning, Humor

• Kids have little computer bodies with disks that store information. They remember who had to do the dishes the last time you had spaghetti, who lost the knob off the TV set six years ago, who got punished for teasing the dog when he wasn't teasing the dog and who had to wear girls boots the last time it snowed.

  Erma Bombeck

  Girl, Dog, Kids

• Every puppy should have a boy.

  Erma Bombeck

  Dog, Boys, Should Have

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank”, p.295, Open Road Media

• Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.

  Erma Bombeck

  Dog, Two, Age

• When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.

  Erma Bombeck

  Running, Dog, Children

• Adults can take a simple holiday for Children and screw it up. What began as a presentation of simple gifts to delight and surprise children around the Christmas tree has culminated in a woman unwrapping six shrimp forks from her dog, who drew her name.

  Erma Bombeck

  Christmas, Dog, Children

• Not everyone is comfortable with the kissing ritual. My husband is one of them. Her refuses to press lips with anyone except his wife, mother, and dog. If someone wanted to give him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, he would refuse until he had been formally introduced.

  Erma Bombeck

  Funny, Mother, Dog

• Maybe you know why a child can reject a hot dog with mustard served on a soft bun at home, yet eat six of them two hours later at fifty cents each.

  Erma Bombeck

  Dog, Children, Food

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?”, p.111, Open Road Media

• Early in my life I had made a pact with myself. I would never eat anything that moved when I cooked it, excited the dog, or inflated upon impact with my teeth.

  Erma Bombeck

  Dog, Impact, Teeth

  Erma Bombeck (1996). “Four of a Kind: A Suburban Field Guide”, Bbs Publishing Corporation

• Phrases and their actual meanings: My teacher has never liked me. Expect a phone call before lunch from the teacher informing you that your child has been launching hot dogs by compressing them inside a small Thermos and then removing the lid quickly.

  Erma Bombeck

  Dog, Teacher, Children

• I've decided life is too fragile to finish a book I dislike just because it cost $16.95 and everyone else loved it. Or eat a fried egg with a broken yolk (which I hate) when the dog would leap over the St. Louis Arch for it.

  Erma Bombeck

  Dog, Hate, Book

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