Erma Bombeck Quotes About Giving

Quotes about: Giving

• I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.

  Erma Bombeck

  Trust, Sex, Giving Up

• Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

  Erma Bombeck

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “Motherhood: The Second Oldest Profession”, p.14, Open Road Media

• Given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it... live it...and never give it back. Stop sweating the small stuff. Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what. Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.

  Erma Bombeck

  Life, Giving, Worry

• If I had my life to live over again, I would have waxed less and listened more. ... I would have cried and laughed less while watching television ... and more while watching real life. ... But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute of it ... look at it and really see it ... try it on ... live it ... exhaust it ... and never give the minute back until there was nothing left of it.

  Erma Bombeck

  Real, Giving, Trying

• Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a gift certificate for a flu shot, dump him.

  Erma Bombeck

  Mother, Memorable, Men

• I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows.

  Erma Bombeck

  Giving, House, Labels

• Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.

  Erma Bombeck

  Mother, Children, Giving

• . . . but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute - look at it and really see it - live it - and never give it back.

  Erma Bombeck

  Giving, Looks, Minutes

• Not everyone is comfortable with the kissing ritual. My husband is one of them. Her refuses to press lips with anyone except his wife, mother, and dog. If someone wanted to give him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, he would refuse until he had been formally introduced.

  Erma Bombeck

  Funny, Mother, Dog

• I've always been intrigued with the variety of answers this generation will give their children who ask, "Where did I come from, Mommy?" They will range from "Number 176 vial in Buffalo, New York," to "You were defrosted."

  Erma Bombeck

  Funny, Baby, New York

• I have finally mastered what to do with the second tennis ball. Having small hands, I was becoming terribly self-conscious about keeping it in a can in the car while I served the first one. I noted some women tucked the second ball just inside the elastic leg of their tennis panties. I tried, but found the space already occupied by a leg. Now, I simply drop the second ball down my cleavage, giving me a chest that often stuns my opponent throughout an entire set.

  Erma Bombeck

  Small Hands, Self, Space

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?”, p.50, Open Road Media

• What makes people laugh? . . . It's a happy marriage between a person who needs to laugh and someone who's got one to give.

  Erma Bombeck

  Laughter, People, Giving

• I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It's just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.

  Erma Bombeck

  Funny, Food, Humorous

• I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.

  Erma Bombeck

  Giving, Funeral, May

• My mother won't admit it, but I've always been a disappointment to her. Deep down inside, she'll never forgive herself for giving birth to a daughter who refuses to launder aluminium foil and use it over again.

  Erma Bombeck

  Daughter, Mother, Disappointment

• I have just come up with a wonderful solution to end all wars. Let me give directions on how to get there.

  Erma Bombeck

  War, Men, Giving

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