Ambrose Bierce Quotes

• God alone knows the future, but only an historian can alter the past.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Past, History, Historian

  7 Copy quote

• Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Gun, Lunch, Democracies Have

  92 Copy quote

• Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Inspirational, Cute, Sad

  295 Copy quote
• 

  Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Powerful, Hatred, Tribes

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Large Bold Edition”, p.128, ReadHowYouWant.com

  37 Copy quote

• There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Learning, Science, Old Things

  “FBI revisiting Clinton emails just latest in long history of 'October Surprises“ by Chad Pergram, www.foxnews.com. October 29, 2016.

  21 Copy quote

• An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Deception, Auctions, Election

  6 Copy quote
• 

  Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Political Will, Greed, Nerd

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Super Large 18pt Edition”, p.271, ReadHowYouWant.com

  88 Copy quote

• War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Funny, Peace, Military

  98 Copy quote

• Be as decent as you can. Don't believe without evidence. Treat things divine with marked respect — don't have anything to do with them. Do not trust humanity without collateral security; it will play you some scurvy trick. Remember that it hurts no one to be treated as an enemy entitled to respect until he shall prove himself a friend worthy of affection. Cultivate a taste for distasteful truths. And, finally, most important of all, endeavor to see things as they are, not as they ought to be.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Hurt, Believe, Play

  Ambrose Bierce, S. T. Joshi (2000). “The Collected Fables of Ambrose Bierce”, p.15, Ohio State University Press

  23 Copy quote

• A nation that will not enforce its laws has no claim to the respect and allegiance of its people.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Law, People, Claims

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2272, Delphi Classics

  13 Copy quote

• All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Insanity, Philosopher, Delusional

  12 Copy quote

• Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Inspirational, Money, Math

  43 Copy quote

• Christians and camels receive their burdens kneeling.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Christian, Camels, Kneeling

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.1214, Delphi Classics

  9 Copy quote

• The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Funny, Dog, Humor

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.13, University of Georgia Press

  99 Copy quote

• EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Sarcastic, Religious, Religion

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.57, 谷月社

  4 Copy quote

• Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Belief, Opinion, Absurdity

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.7, 谷月社

  11 Copy quote

• Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Government, Democracy, Boxes

  11 Copy quote

• MANNA, n. A food miraculously given to the Israelites in the wilderness. When it was no longer supplied to them they settled down and tilled the soil, fertilizing it, as a rule, with the bodies of the original occupants.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Food, Cooking, Body

  Ambrose Bierce (2011). “Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary, Tales, and Memoirs: The Devil's Dictionary, Tales, and Memoirs”, p.720, Library of America

  7 Copy quote

• Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Evil, Political, Wish

  Cynic's Word Book (1906) p. 56

  59 Copy quote

• Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Inspirational, Graduation, Sports

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.10, University of Georgia Press

  10 Copy quote

• Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Money, Blessing, Wealth

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.146, 谷月社

  8 Copy quote

• He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Believe, Thinking, Alacrity

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.1216, Delphi Classics

  26 Copy quote

• If you want to read a perfect book there is only one way: write it.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Book, Writing, Perfect

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2692, Delphi Classics

  8 Copy quote
• 

  Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Daughter, Religious, Nature

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.196, University of Georgia Press

  66 Copy quote

• Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Ignorance, Knowledge, Small Parts

  23 Copy quote

You May Also Like:

Edgar Allan Poe

Mark Twain

Stephen Crane

Algernon Blackwood

H. P. Lovecraft

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Arthur Machen

Sarah Orne Jewett