Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
MATERIAL, adj. Having an actual existence, as distinguished from an imaginary one. Important.
When lost in a forest go always down hill. When lost in a philosophy or doctrine go upward.
MINISTER, n. An agent of a higher power with a lower responsibility. In diplomacy, an officer sent into a foreign country as the visible embodiment of his sovereign's hostility.
Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.
One who, professing virtues that he does not respect, secures the advantage of seeming to be what he despises.
PIG, n. An animal ("Porcus omnivorus") closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is inferior in scope, for it sticks at pig.
SIREN, n. One of several musical prodigies famous for a vain attempt to dissuade Odysseus from a life on the ocean wave. Figuratively, any lady of splendid promise, dissembled purpose and disappointing performance.
ORPHAN, n. A living person whom death has deprived of the power of filial ingratitude . . .
Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding. The basic of logic is the syllogism, consisting of a major and a minor premise and a conclusion - thus: Major Premise: Sixty men can do a piece of work sixty times as quickly as one man. Minor Premise: One man can dig a post-hole in sixty seconds; Therefore- Conclusion: Sixty men can dig a post-hole in one second. This may be called syllogism arithmetical, in which, by combining logic and mathematics, we obtain a double certainty and are twice blessed.
Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
REASON, v.i. To weight probabilities in the scales of desire.
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
actually, adv. Perhaps; possibly.
INADMISSIBLE- Not competent to be considered. Hearsay evidence is inadmissible ... but there is no religion in the world that has any other basis than hearsay evidence.
Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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