Ambrose Bierce Quotes - Page 8

• What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Funny, Country, Humorous

  Ambrose Bierce (1968). “The Ambrose Bierce satanic reader: selections from the invective journalism of the great satirist”

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• POTABLE, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage, although even they find it palatable only when suffering from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it is a medicine. Upon nothing has so great and diligent ingenuity been brought to bear in all ages and in all countries, except the most uncivilized, as upon the invention of substitutes for water. To hold that this general aversion to that liquid has no basis in the preservative instinct of the race is to be unscientific-and without science we are as the snakes and toads.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Country, Drinking, Science

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2484, Delphi Classics

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• PERORATION, n. The explosion of an oratorical rocket. It dazzles, but to an observer having the wrong kind of nose its most conspicuous peculiarity is the smell of the several kinds of powder used in preparing it.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Kindness, Smell, Noses

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.180, University of Georgia Press

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• Male, A member of the unconsidered or negligible gender. The male of the human race is commonly known to the female as Mere Man. The Genus has two varieties: good providers and bad providers.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Men, Race, Two

  Ambrose Bierce (2012). “The Devil's Dictionary”, p.78, Courier Corporation

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• INK, n. A villainous compound of tannogallate of iron, gum-arabic, and water, chiefly used to facilitate the infection of idiocy and promote intellectual crime.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Iron, Water, Intellectual

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.130, University of Georgia Press

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• Least said is soon disavowed.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Clarity, Said, Communicate

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• RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Art, Philosophy, Lying

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2504, Delphi Classics

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• Even the laws of justice themselves cannot subsist without mixture of injustice.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Law, Justice, Mixtures

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• PRE-ADAMITE, n. One of an experimental and apparently unsatisfactory race of antedated Creation. . . . Little its known of them beyond the fact that they supplied Cain with a wife and theologians with a controversy.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Race, Wife, Cain

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2484, Delphi Classics

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• POSITIVISM- A philosophy that denies our knowledge of the Real and affirms our ignorance of the Apparent. Its longest exponent is Comte, its broadest Mill and its thickest Spencer.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Philosophy, Real, Ignorance

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.167, 谷月社

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• The covers of this book are too far apart.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.3723, Delphi Classics

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• Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Beauty, Beautiful, Attitude

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.175, University of Georgia Press

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• MATERIAL, adj. Having an actual existence, as distinguished from an imaginary one. Important.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Important, Existence, Distinguished

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.162, University of Georgia Press

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• DIGESTION, n. The conversion of victuals into virtues. When the process is imperfect, vices are evolved instead - a circumstance from which that wicked writer, Dr. Jeremiah Blenn, infers that the ladies are the greater sufferers from dyspepsia.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Imperfection, Wicked

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.57, University of Georgia Press

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• Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Friendship, Enough, Acquaintance

  Cynic's Word Book (1906) p. 12

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• Strive not for singularity in dress; Fools have the more and men of sense the less. To look original is not worth while, But be in mind a little out of style.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Men, Mind, Style

  Ambrose Bierce (2015). “A Cynic Looks at Life”, p.38, Sheba Blake Publishing

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• INADMISSIBLE- Not competent to be considered. Hearsay evidence is inadmissible ... but there is no religion in the world that has any other basis than hearsay evidence.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Religion, World, Evidence

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• Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Physicians, Literature, Patient

  Ambrose Bierce (2004). “The Devil's Dictionaries: The Best of the Devil's Dictionary and the American Heretic's Dictionary”, p.39, See Sharp Press

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• IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Liars, Science, Imagination

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.96, 谷月社

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• The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Democracy, Degrees, Rewards

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Epigrams by Ambrose Bierce”, p.10, e-artnow

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• Scriptures - The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Book, Writing, Religion

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2513, Delphi Classics

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• PILLORY, n. A mechanical device for inflicting personal distinction - prototype of the modern newspaper conducted by persons of austere virtues and blameless lives.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Life, Virtue, Modern

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.164, 谷月社

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• When lost in a forest go always down hill. When lost in a philosophy or doctrine go upward.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Philosophy, Doctrine, Forests

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2692, Delphi Classics

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• Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Patience, Revenge, Planning

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.141, 谷月社

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• One who, professing virtues that he does not respect, secures the advantage of seeming to be what he despises.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Hypocrite, Doe, Virtue

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.94, 谷月社

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