Ambrose Bierce Quotes - Page 9

• He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Wise, Believe, Thinking

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.1216, Delphi Classics

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• Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Vision, Cynicism, Cynic

  Cynic's Word Book (1906) p. 63

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• REVOLUTION, n. A bursting of the boilers which usually takes place when the safety valve of public discussion is closed.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Safety, Revolution, Censorship

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• When you have made a catalogue of your friend's faults it is only fair to supply him with a duplicate, so that he may know yours.

  Ambrose Bierce

  May, Faults, Made

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2690, Delphi Classics

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• PIG, n. An animal ("Porcus omnivorus") closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is inferior in scope, for it sticks at pig.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Food, Animal, Pigs

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.164, 谷月社

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• SIREN, n. One of several musical prodigies famous for a vain attempt to dissuade Odysseus from a life on the ocean wave. Figuratively, any lady of splendid promise, dissembled purpose and disappointing performance.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Life, Ocean, Musical

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.215, University of Georgia Press

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• PANTALOONS, n. A nether habiliment of the adult civilized male. The garment is tubular and unprovided with hinges at the points of flexion. Supposed to have been invented by a humorist. Called trousers by the enlightened and pants by the unworthy.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Adults, Males, Pants

  Ambrose Bierce (2012). “The Devil's Dictionary”, p.91, Courier Corporation

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• ORPHAN, n. A living person whom death has deprived of the power of filial ingratitude . . .

  Ambrose Bierce

  Life, Death, Power

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.175, University of Georgia Press

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• Certain old men prefer to rise at dawn, taking a cold bath and a long walk with an empty stomach and otherwise mortifying the flesh. They then point with pride to these practices as the cause of their sturdy health and ripe years; the truth being that they are hearty and old, not because of their habits, but in spite of them. The reason we find only robust persons doing this thing is that it has killed all the others who have tried it.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Crazy, Pride, Men

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Large Bold Edition”, p.50, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• REASON, v.i. To weight probabilities in the scales of desire.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Desire, Weight, Reason

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Large Bold Edition”, p.246, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• PHOTOGRAPH, n. A picture painted by the sun without instruction in art. It is a little better than the work of an Apache, but not quite so good as that of a Cheyenne.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Photography, Art, Work

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.181, University of Georgia Press

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• Nothing is more logical than persecution. Religious tolerance is a kind of infidelity.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Religious, Tolerance, Infidelity

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2697, Delphi Classics

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• Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Dying, Finals, Rich

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2460, Delphi Classics

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• In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Funny, Humor, Government

  "The Devil's Dictionary". Book by Ambrose Bierce, 1911.

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• Abnormal, adj. Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Independent, Abnormal, Matter

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.3, 谷月社

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• According to the most trustworthy statistics the number of adult Dullards in the United States is but little short of thirty millions, including the statisticians.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Numbers, Adults, United States

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.49, 谷月社

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• Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Women, Roots, Brain

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.1223, Delphi Classics

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• MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Animal, Men, Thinking

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.161, University of Georgia Press

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• Homicide, /n./ The slaying of one human by another. There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slain whether he died by one kind or another - the classification is for the advantage of the lawyers.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Death, Suicide, Differences

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.111, University of Georgia Press

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• TRUTHFUL, adj. Dumb and illiterate.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Dumb, Truthful, Illiterate

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Super Large 18pt Edition”, p.372, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Family, Mothers Day, Mom

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• To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Planning, Results

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “The Best Of Ambrose Bierce: The Damned Thing + An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge + The Devil's Dictionary + Chickamauga (4 Classics in 1 Book)”, p.179, e-artnow

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• Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Happiness, Marriage, Wedding

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “The Best Of Ambrose Bierce: The Damned Thing + An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge + The Devil's Dictionary + Chickamauga (4 Classics in 1 Book)”, p.48, e-artnow

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• Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Inspirational, Photography, Art

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Large Bold Edition”, p.223, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• Pantheism, n.
  The doctrine that everything is God, in contradistinction to the doctrine that God is everything.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Doctrine, Pantheism

  Ambrose Bierce (2012). “The Devil's Dictionary”, p.91, Courier Corporation

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