Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
DIGESTION, n. The conversion of victuals into virtues. When the process is imperfect, vices are evolved instead - a circumstance from which that wicked writer, Dr. Jeremiah Blenn, infers that the ladies are the greater sufferers from dyspepsia.
Epitaph: An inscription on a tomb showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect.
One who, professing virtues that he does not respect, secures the advantage of seeming to be what he despises.
POVERTY, n. A file provided for the teeth of the rats of reform. Its victims are distinguished by possession of all the virtues and by their faith in leaders seeking to conduct them into a prosperity where they believe these to be unknown.
PILLORY, n. A mechanical device for inflicting personal distinction - prototype of the modern newspaper conducted by persons of austere virtues and blameless lives.
ROSTRUM, n. In Latin, the beak of a bird or the prow of a ship. In America, a place from which a candidate for office energetically expounds the wisdom, virtue and power of the rabble.
MULTITUDE, n. A crowd; the source of political wisdom and virtue. In a republic, the object of the statesman's adoration.
HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.
RUIN, v. To destroy. Specifically, to destroy a maid's belief in the virtue of maids.
Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
Human nature is pretty well balanced; for every lacking virtue there is a rough substitute that will serve at a pinch--as cunning is the wisdom of the unwise, and ferocity the courage of the coward.
VIRTUES, n.pl. Certain abstentions.
UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
RIGHTEOUSNESS, n. A sturdy virtue that was once found among the Pantidoodles inhabiting the lower part of the peninsula of Oque. Some feeble attempts were made by returned missionaries to introduce it into several European countries . .
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