Ambrose Bierce Quotes - Page 5

• Friendship: A ship big enough for two in fair weather, but only one in foul.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Friendship, Funny Friend, Weather

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• I keep a conscience uncorrupted by religion, a judgment undimmed by politics and patriotism, a heart untainted by friendships and sentiments unsoured by animosities.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Fear, Heart, Atheism

  Ambrose Bierce, S. T. Joshi, David E. Schultz (1998). “A Sole Survivor: Bits of Autobiography”, p.177, Univ. of Tennessee Press

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• Liar: A lawyer with a roving commission.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Liars, Roving, Lawyer

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.126, 谷月社

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• Kindness n: A brief preface to ten volumes of exaction.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Kindness, Volume, Ten

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.142, University of Georgia Press

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• LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Law, Lawyer

  "The Devil's Dictionary". Book by Ambrose Bierce, 1906.

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• UNIVERSALIST, n. One who forgoes the advantage of a Hell for persons of another faith.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Faith, Hell, Advantage

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2534, Delphi Classics

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• Think twice before you speak to a friend in need

  Ambrose Bierce

  Friendship, Thinking, Advice

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Large Bold Edition”, p.276, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• Honorable, adj.: Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as, "the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.".

  Ambrose Bierce

  Gentleman, Affliction, Body

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.112, University of Georgia Press

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• REPARATION, n. Satisfaction that is made for a wrong and deducted from the satisfaction felt in committing it.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Satisfaction, Made, Felt

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.181, 谷月社

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• FROG, n. A reptile with edible legs

  Ambrose Bierce

  Food, Science, Cooking

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.72, 谷月社

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• Cribbage, n. A substitute for conversation among those to whom nature has denied ideas.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Ideas, Substitutes, Conversation

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.45, University of Georgia Press

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• OPIATE, n. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Jail, Doors

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.154, 谷月社

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• LAP, n. One of the most important organs of the female system - an admirable provision of nature for the repose of infancy, but chiefly useful in rural festivities to support plates of cold chicken and heads of adult males.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Nature, Support, Important

  Ambrose Bierce (2012). “The Devil's Dictionary”, p.68, Courier Corporation

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• Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Food, Cooking, Bread

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.43, 谷月社

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• EMOTION, n. A prostrating disease caused by a determination of the heart to the head. It is sometimes accompanied by a copious discharge of hydrated chloride of sodium from the eyes.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Determination, Heart, Eye

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.66, University of Georgia Press

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• REALITY, n. The dream of a mad philosopher. That which would remain in the cupel if one should assay a phantom. The nucleus of a vacuum.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Dream, Philosophy, Reality

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.177, 谷月社

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• Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Sarcastic, Animal, Purpose

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.70, 谷月社

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• CARTESIAN, adj. Relating to Descartes, author of 'Cogito ergo sum' to demonstrate the reality of human existence. The dictum might be improved 'Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum' 'I think that I think, therefore I think that I am' as close an approach.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Reality, Thinking, Might

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• Introduction - a social ceremony invented by the devil for the gratification of his servants and the plaguing of his enemies.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Evil, Enemy, Social

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.136, University of Georgia Press

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• An appellate court which reverses the judgment of a popular author's contemporaries, the appellant being his obscure competitor.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Judgment, Popularity, Obscure

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.167, 谷月社

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• CLERGYMAN, n. A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of better his temporal ones.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Spiritual, Men, Affair

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Super Large 18pt Edition”, p.46, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss." It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding; but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Kissing, Understanding, Lexicographer

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.120, 谷月社

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• Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his own.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Family, Men, Care

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• Platitude: All that is mortal of a departed truth.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Departed, Platitudes, Mortals

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.183, University of Georgia Press

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• PHONOGRAPH, n. An irritating toy that restores life to dead noises.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Life, Noise, Toys

  Ambrose Bierce (2012). “The Devil's Dictionary”, p.93, Courier Corporation

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