Ambrose Bierce Quotes - Page 7

• Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Pigs, Law, Machines

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2450, Delphi Classics

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• EXISTENCE, n. A transient, horrible, fantastic dream,/ Wherein is nothing yet all things do seem:/ From which we're wakened by a friendly nudge/ Of our bedfellow Death, and cry: "O fudge!"

  Ambrose Bierce

  Dream, Nudge Nudge, Friendly

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.74, University of Georgia Press

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• The liberality of one who has much, in permitting one who has nothing to get all that he can.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Liberality

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.23, 谷月社

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• An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Humorous, Profound, Ego

  Cynic's Word Book (1906) p. 86

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• Income is the natural and rational gauge and measure of respectability.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Gauges, Income, Natural

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Large Bold Edition”, p.137, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• COMPULSION, n. The eloquence of power.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Power, Compulsion, Eloquence

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.34, 谷月社

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• TELESCOPE, n. A device having a relation to the eye similar to that of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to plague us with a multitude of needless details. Luckily it is unprovided with a bell summoning us to the sacrifice.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Eye, Sacrifice, Science

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2526, Delphi Classics

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• EXCEPTION, n. A thing which takes the liberty to differ from other things of its class, as an honest man, a truthful woman, etc.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Truth, Honesty, Women

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.72, University of Georgia Press

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• Youth looks forward, for nothing is behind! Age backward, for nothing is before.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Age, Looks, Youth

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.1219, Delphi Classics

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• Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Marriage, Taste, Incompatibility

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.104, 谷月社

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• Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Morning, Sleep, Insomnia

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.49, University of Georgia Press

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• MISDEMEANOR, n. An infraction of the law having less dignity than a felony and constituting no claim to admittance into the best criminal society.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Law, Criminals, Dignity

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.164, University of Georgia Press

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• OBLIVION, n. Cold storage for high hopes. A place where ambitious authors meet their works without pride and their betters without envy. A dormitory without an alarm clock.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Hope, Pride, Envy

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.151, 谷月社

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• Backbite: To ''speak of a man as you find him'' when he can't find you.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Men, Speak, Slander

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.22, University of Georgia Press

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• Absence blots people out. We really have no absent friends.

  Ambrose Bierce

  People, Absence, Absent Friends

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• STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Stories, Narrative, Untrue

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.210, 谷月社

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• MESMERISM, n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Clothes, Dinner

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.164, University of Georgia Press

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• Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding. The basic of logic is the syllogism, consisting of a major and a minor premise and a conclusion - thus: Major Premise: Sixty men can do a piece of work sixty times as quickly as one man. Minor Premise: One man can dig a post-hole in sixty seconds; Therefore- Conclusion: Sixty men can dig a post-hole in one second. This may be called syllogism arithmetical, in which, by combining logic and mathematics, we obtain a double certainty and are twice blessed.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Art, Blessed, Science

  "The Devil's Dictionary:". Book by Ambrose Bierce (p. 204), 2008.

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• Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Food, Science, Men

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2387, Delphi Classics

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• MINISTER, n. An agent of a higher power with a lower responsibility. In diplomacy, an officer sent into a foreign country as the visible embodiment of his sovereign's hostility.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Country, Responsibility, Power

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.164, University of Georgia Press

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• Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Disappointment, Years, Three

  Ambrose Bierce (1973). “The Collected Writings of Ambrose Bierce”, Ayer Company Pub

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• TAKE, v.t. To acquire, frequently by force but preferably by stealth.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Force, Stealth, Acquire

  Ambrose Bierce (2011). “Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary, Tales, and Memoirs: The Devil's Dictionary, Tales, and Memoirs”, p.815, Library of America

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• Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Education, Math, Thinking

  "The Devil's Dictionary". Book by Ambrose Bierce, 1911.

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• DISCUSSION, n. A method of confirming others in their errors.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Errors, Method

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.57, University of Georgia Press

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• DEINOTHERIUM, n. An extinct pachyderm that flourished when the Pterodactyl was in fashion. The latter was a native of Ireland, its name being pronounced Terry Dactyl or Peter O'Dactyl, as the man pronouncing it may chance to have heard it spoken or seen it printed.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Fashion, Men, Names

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.51, University of Georgia Press

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