Erma Bombeck Quotes - Page 2

Quotes about:

• It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.

  Erma Bombeck

  Inspirational, Life, Communication

  47 Copy quote

• It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.

  Erma Bombeck

  Dream, Courage, Kindness

  67 Copy quote

• There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, 'Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams.' Then they put the box away and bring it out once in awhile to look in it, and yep, they're still there. These are great dreams, but they never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, 'How good or how bad am I?' That's where courage comes in.

  Erma Bombeck

  Dream, People, Acting

  23 Copy quote

• Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it's still snowing.

  Erma Bombeck

  Mom, Children, Home

  19 Copy quote

• Cats invented self-esteem.

  Erma Bombeck

  Self Esteem, Cat, Self

  84 Copy quote

• It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.

  Erma Bombeck

  Family, Mom, Mother

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “Motherhood: The Second Oldest Profession”, p.10, Open Road Media

  72 Copy quote

• Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.

  Erma Bombeck

  Children, Independence, Losing

  10 Copy quote

• Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

  Erma Bombeck

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “Motherhood: The Second Oldest Profession”, p.14, Open Road Media

  32 Copy quote

• A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. "What shall we name the other one?" I smiled. She was not amused.

  Erma Bombeck

  Funny, Humorous, Names

  9 Copy quote

• If I had my life to live over I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

  Erma Bombeck

  Rose, Storage, Burned

  5 Copy quote

• Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.

  Erma Bombeck

  Mother, Children, Giving

  10 Copy quote

• Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.

  Erma Bombeck

  Fashion, Design, Literature

  9 Copy quote

• In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

  Erma Bombeck

  Loss, Two, Pounds

  108 Copy quote

• If I had my life to live over again, I would have waxed less and listened more. ... I would have cried and laughed less while watching television ... and more while watching real life. ... But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute of it ... look at it and really see it ... try it on ... live it ... exhaust it ... and never give the minute back until there was nothing left of it.

  Erma Bombeck

  Real, Giving, Trying

  13 Copy quote

• I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.

  Erma Bombeck

  Trust, Sex, Giving Up

  71 Copy quote

• I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.

  Erma Bombeck

  Clothes, Lucky, Realizing

  16 Copy quote

• The grass is always greener over the septic tank.

  Erma Bombeck

  Tanks, Grass Is Greener On The Other Side, Grass Is Always Greener

  Erma Bombeck (2014). “Es darf auch mal Champagner sein”, p.2, Edel:Books

  17 Copy quote

• He opened the jar of pickles when no one else could. He was the only one in the house who wasn't afraid to go into the basement by himself. He cut himself shaving, but no one kissed it or got excited about it. It was understood when it rained, he got the car and brought it around to the door. When anyone was sick, he went out to get the prescription filled. He took lots of pictures... but he was never in them.

  Erma Bombeck

  Daughter, Father, Cutting

  18 Copy quote

• Mothers are not the nameless, faceless stereotypes who appear once a year on a greeting card with their virtues set to prose, but women who have been dealt a hand for life and play each card one at a time the best way they know how. No mother is all good or all bad, all laughing or all serious, all loving or all angry. Ambivalence rushes through their veins.

  Erma Bombeck

  Mother, Hands, Years

  "Motherhood: The Second Oldest Profession".

  50 Copy quote

• I see children as kites. You spend a lifetime trying to get them off the ground. You run with them until you're both breathless. They crash . . . you add a longer tail . . . you patch and comfort, adjust and teach. You watch them lifted by the wind and assure them that someday they'll fly.

  Erma Bombeck

  Running, Children, Wind

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “Forever, Erma: Best-Loved Writing From America's Favorite Humorist”, p.85, Open Road Media

  154 Copy quote

• The term 'working mother' is redundant.

  Erma Bombeck

  Mother, Term, Redundant

  5 Copy quote

• When mothers talk about the depression of the empty nest, they're not mourning the passing of all those wet towels on the floor, or the music that numbs your teeth, or even the bottle of capless shampoo dribbling down the shower drain. They're upset because they've gone from supervisor of a child's life to a spectator. It's like being the vice president of the United States.

  Erma Bombeck

  Mother, Retirement, Children

  86 Copy quote

• I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.

  Erma Bombeck

  Inspiration, Car, Buzzards

  42 Copy quote

• It is my theory you can't get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.

  Erma Bombeck

  Funny, Moving, Furniture

  18 Copy quote

• All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.

  Erma Bombeck

  Funny Inspirational, Children, Parenting

  41 Copy quote

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