Jay Leno Quotes About Running

Quotes about: Running

• It seems that England's royal family is running out of money. They are down to just $1.6 million. Well sure, that's what happens when nobody in your family has had a job for the last thousand years.

  Jay Leno

  Running, Jobs, Years

• Usain Bolt won the gold for the men's 100- and 200-meter dashes for the second Olympics in a row. You know, he has been running since he was in elementary school - kind of like Mitt Romney.

  Jay Leno

  Funny, Running, School

• Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, because they say fans fight over them and they get hurt. In fact, the Florida Marlins said that's why they never hit any home runs. It's a safety issue.

  Jay Leno

  Baseball, Running, Hurt

• I was in the ROTC. Of course, ROTC stood for "Running off to Canada."

  Jay Leno

  Running, Canada, Courses

  "The Tonight Show" with Jay Leno, June 24, 2005.

• Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

  Jay Leno

  Basketball, Running, Player

• Chris Christie won by such a wide margin that pundits say this will give him the impetus he needs to run for president. And he's got a new slogan: 'Put the oval in the Oval Office.'

  Jay Leno

  Running, Giving, Office

• So, it's pretty crazy. Look, we're bailing out Wall Street, we're bailing out banks, we're bailing out car companies. In fact, did you know there's a special box on your tax form this year you can check if you want a portion of your taxes to actually go to running the government?

  Jay Leno

  Running, Wall, Crazy

• Kerry has already begun his search for a running mate. They say that because John Edwards still has $50 million in campaign money, Kerry might pick him. Pick him? Hey, for $50 million, Kerry will marry him.

  Jay Leno

  Running, Campaigns, Hey

• All of Iraq's oil fields are under U.S. control which is ironic considering all the gas stations here are run by Middle Easterners.

  Jay Leno

  Running, Iraq, Oil

• U.N. officials said today they desperately need $7 billion to help people cope with disasters, but they're having a hard time getting people to send rescue money. Here's what the UN should do: Invest in bad mortgages, run a bank into the ground, give yourself a bonus, get some spa treatments and, in no time, the government will send you $750 billion.

  Jay Leno

  Running, Hard Times, Government

• Texas governor Rick Perry said God is calling on him to run for President. But Michele Bachmann said that God is calling on her to run for President. You know, if God is that indecisive, he's probably for Mitt Romney!

  Jay Leno

  Running, Texas, President

  "Timothy Geithner". "This Week", abcnews.go.com. July 24, 2011.

• Now see, a lot of critics are saying Arnold can't get elected because he's just an ambitious guy with a famous name, who doesn't know anything about running the government. Didn't hurt George Bush.

  Jay Leno

  Running, Hurt, Government

• In an interview with Rolling Stone, Senator John Kerry, who is running for president, said that when he voted for the war in Iraq, he didn't expect President Bush to 'f--- it up as badly as he did.' Here's some breaking news, tomorrow former Vice President Al Gore expected to endorse Howard Dean as the Democratic nominee for president of the United States - and you thought John Kerry was using four letter words before! Actually, to John Kerry, Dean is a four letter word.

  Jay Leno

  Running, War, Iraq

• Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up. Say what you want about Trump, at least this guy has his priorities in order. He doesn't want to let actual reality get in the way of his reality show.

  Jay Leno

  Running, Reality, Order

• Even Arnold's adviser says he was shocked by his decision to run. I mean, his people were backstage that night and they had no idea. He totally fooled them. Who knew Arnold was that good of an actor? If he had done that in a movie, he'd have an Academy Award by now.

  Jay Leno

  Running, Mean, Night

• Rick Perry has made so many gaffes lately, it is hard to tell if he's running against President Obama or Joe Biden.

  Jay Leno

  Running, President, Biden

• Donald Trump says that he will not run for president. You know why? He can't find his birth certificate.

  Jay Leno

  Running, President, Birth

• Scientists say they have developed a car that can run on water. The only catch is, the water has to come from the Gulf of Mexico.

  Jay Leno

  Running, Water, Car

• Arnold Schwarzenegger announced that he is going to run for governor on our program last night. My staff didn't know, Arnold's staff didn't know, I was shocked as everyone else. If he doesn't get elected governor, maybe he should work for the CIA. I mean, he can keep a secret better than they can.

  Jay Leno

  Running, Mean, Night

• Texas Governor Rick Perry now says his wife has been encouraging him to run for President. Remember first he told us God told him to run; now his wife is telling him to run. Of course, the big difference; if you ignore what God says you don't have to hear about it until the afterlife. That's the only difference.

  Jay Leno

  Running, Differences, Texas

• There are over 30 doctors running for the US Congress this year. That's going to be rather strange. Half the time these folks will be playing God and asking women to take their clothes off and the other half the time they will be doctors.

  Jay Leno

  Running, Clothes, Doctors

• Of course with John McCain out of the race, George W. Bush has to pick a running mate. Which is kind of a scary proposition when you think about it. I mean his dad picked Dan Quayle, an he isn't as smart as his dad.

  Jay Leno

  Running, Dad, Smart

• Arnold Schwarzenegger has still not officially bowed out of this race. It looks like he's not gonna run. But I'll tell ya, if Arnold does run, he better get on the ballot, because you don't want a write-in with a name like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Because people will go - 'Schwarz, schwarz, oh Davis is easier.'

  Jay Leno

  Running, Writing, Race

• Jesse Jackson's wife was arrested in Puerto Rico while protesting the naval bombings there. Jesse said he was holding a meeting with four of his secretaries to decide what to do and that these meetings could run well into the night.

  Jay Leno

  Running, Night, Wife

• Republican presidential hopeful Mike Hucka-BS is attacking actress Natalie Portman for getting pregnant without being married. It could get a little awkward if he runs into Sarah and Bristol Palin at Fox News.

  Jay Leno

  Running, Hopeful, Presidential

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