Jay Leno Quotes About House

Quotes about: House

• These White House scandals are not going away anytime soon. People in Kenya are now saying he's 100 percent American. That's how bad it's gotten.

  Jay Leno

  White, People, House

• The White House is now urging Americans not to 'read too much' into last week's jobs report. In fact, they said it would be best if you didn't read it at all.

  Jay Leno

  Jobs, White, House

• President Obama and House Speaker John Boehner played golf this weekend. Obama’s handicap is Joe Biden.

  Jay Leno

  Golf, Weekend, House

• President Obama had lunch with Republican leaders at the White House today and had to do without salt, pepper and butter. Not for dietary reasons. The Republicans refused to pass anything.

  Jay Leno

  Lunch, White, House

• This week the White House proposed fingerprinting and photographing foreign visitors so they can do background checks. Officials in Saudi Arabia said this will only increase anti-American feelings in the Mideast. Is that possible? Gee, you hate to have people dislike us for no reason. Things were going so well.

  Jay Leno

  Hate, White, People

• Former U.S. House Majority Leader, Tom DeLay, has been sentenced to three years in prison. One year for money laundering and two more for his performance on 'Dancing with the Stars.'

  Jay Leno

  Stars, Majority Leader, Years

• According to a survey in this week's Time magazine, 85% of Americans think global warming is happening. The other 15% work for the White House.

  Jay Leno

  Fun, Thinking, White

• President Bush said this Iraq situation looks like 'the rerun of a bad movie.' Well sure, there's a Bush in the White House, the economy's going to hell, we're going to war over oil. I've seen this movie, haven't I?

  Jay Leno

  Movie, War, Oil

• Congratulations to Mexico. They upset Brazil to win a gold medal in men's soccer. And after the Olympics ended, the Mexican soccer team, of course, returned home to their houses here in Los Angeles.

  Jay Leno

  Funny, Soccer, Team

• Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors.

  Jay Leno

  Anchors, White, House

• A petition to have Justin Bieber deported got over 100,000 signatures, which means the White House now has to legally rule on it. So finally a chance for Obama to issue an executive order that both Republicans and Democrats can agree on.

  Jay Leno

  Mean, Order, White

• The big rumor going around is, we may begin bombing Iraq. Or, as the White House calls it, Operation Keep Enron Off The Front Page.

  Jay Leno

  Iraq, White, House

• Martha Stewart is now under house arrest. So she'll go to her $40 million 153-acre estate. So she's going from the big house to an even bigger house.

  Jay Leno

  House, Acres, Bigs

• The White House is defending President Obama's sports activities over the past week, saying that everyone needs leisure time. Thanks to these economic policies, 9.5 percent of Americans have all the leisure time they need.

  Jay Leno

  Sports, Past, White

• The White House begun airing their TV commercials to re-elect the president, and the John Kerry campaign is condemning his use of 9/11 in the ads. He said, it is unconscionable to use the tragic memory of a war in order to get elected, unless of course, it's the Vietnam War.

  Jay Leno

  Memories, War, Order

• House Speaker John Boehner says President Obama should have clearly outlined his exact plans before bombing Libya. Apparently it's only Iraq where you don't have to do that.

  Jay Leno

  Should Have, Iraq, House

• President Obama and House Speaker John Boehner have agreed to play a round of golf together. Imagine the two of them at the end of that golf game? Boehner will be crying over his score and Obama will be giving three explanations as to why his score is actually better than it appears.

  Jay Leno

  Golf, Games, Play

  "Economy Panel". "This Week", abcnews.go.com. June 12, 2011.

• Here's the latest from the Pentagon -- the generals are worried that the White House is spreading itself thin by trying to fight a war on two fronts; Afghanistan and Fox News.

  Jay Leno

  War, Fighting, Two

• John Kerry has promised to take this country back from the wealthy. Who better than the guy worth $700 million to take the country back? See, he knows how the wealthy think. He can spy on them at his country club, at his place in Palm Beach, at his house in the Hamptons. He's like a mole for the working man.

  Jay Leno

  Country, Beach, Men

• A new poll says that if the election were held today, both John Kerry and John Edwards would beat President Bush by double digit margins. The White House is so worried about this, they're now thinking of moving up the capture of Osama Bin Laden to next month.

  Jay Leno

  Moving, Thinking, White

• For years President Obama has been saying that no one would lose their healthcare plan. Now the White House has admitted that in fact many people will lose their plans. But there is a way to keep the great coverage you have. Just become a member of Congress. Then the taxpayers pay for the whole thing.

  Jay Leno

  Years, White, People

• The White House says that the unemployment rate is good news because it means more people are looking for jobs. More good news like that, and everyone at the White House will be looking for jobs.

  Jay Leno

  Jobs, Mean, White

• Well, Joe Biden has done it again. He showed up at the White House Passover Seder with a bunch of ham sandwiches.

  Jay Leno

  White, House, Sandwiches

• John Kerry's victory over Howard Dean has completely changed the presidential race around. Now instead of the rich white guy from Yale who lives in the White house facing off against the rich white guy from Yale who lives in Vermont, he may have to face the rich white guy from Yale who lives in Massachusetts. It's a whole different game.

  Jay Leno

  Race, Yale, Games

• President Bush is now focusing on jobs. I think the one job he's focusing most on is his own. The White House is now backtracking from its prediction that 2.6 million new jobs will be created in the U.S. this year. They say they were off by roughly 2.6 million jobs.

  Jay Leno

  Jobs, Thinking, Years

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