Jay Leno Quotes About John Kerry

Quotes about: John Kerry

• In a new issue of Esquire magazine, they revealed that before he was married to Teresa Heinz, Senator John Kerry dated Morgan Fairchild, Michelle Phillips, Catherine Oxenberg and Dana Delany. Finally a Democratic presidential candidate with good taste in women.

  Jay Leno

  Issues, Presidential, Magazines

• John Kerry announced that he and his wife are leaving on a week-long vacation. He's going to take her back to the place where he first proposed to her - at her bank.

  Jay Leno

  Vacation, Long, Wife

• It really kind of looks like now that John Kerry is on his way to the presidential nomination. The only thing that can sink John Kerry now is an Al Gore endorsement.

  Jay Leno

  Presidential, Looks, Nominations

  "Inside Politics Sunday" with Jeanne Meserve, www.cnn.com. February 29, 200.

• John Kerry fell off of his bicycle over the weekend. He went for a Sunday afternoon ride, fell off in front of the news media. Luckily, his hair broke the fall so it's not as serious. ... Thankfully, Senator Kerry was not seriously injured. In fact, when the police arrived, Kerry was well enough to give conflicting reports to the officers about what happened.

  Jay Leno

  Fall, Sunday, Weekend

• They say John Kerry is the first Democratic presidential candidate in history to raise $50 million in a three-month period. Actually, that's nothing. He once raised $500 million with two words: 'I do.'

  Jay Leno

  Two, Presidential, Three

• The Secret Service has announced it is doubling its protection for John Kerry. You can understand why - with two positions on every issue, he has twice as many people mad at him.

  Jay Leno

  Two, Issues, People

• John Kerry has promised to take this country back from the wealthy. Who better than the guy worth $700 million to take the country back? See, he knows how the wealthy think. He can spy on them at his country club, at his place in Palm Beach, at his house in the Hamptons. He's like a mole for the working man.

  Jay Leno

  Country, Beach, Men

• In his speech last night, John Kerry said this was the beginning of the end of the Bush administration. I agree. Sure, it may take another five years, but this is it.

  Jay Leno

  Night, Years, Lasts

• John Kerry says that he wants to debate President Bush once a month until the election. This could be a risky move for Senator Kerry. If Bush doesn't show up for the debates, John Kerry may end up debating an empty chair. And that could be pretty much a toss up as to which one has the better personality.

  Jay Leno

  Moving, Personality, President

• John Kerry described his Republican critics as 'the most crooked, lying group I've ever seen.' Now, that's saying something, because Kerry's both a lawyer and a politician.

  Jay Leno

  Lying, Groups, Lawyer

• Senator John Kerry released his plan today to eliminate the deficit. He said all we have to do is find a really rich country like Switzerland and marry it.

  Jay Leno

  Country, Rich Countries, Switzerland

• The big winner last night in New Hampshire - Senator John Kerry. He won 39 percent of the vote, which is pretty good, and begs the question, why the long face?

  Jay Leno

  Night, Long, Lasts

• Is it me or is Bush going everywhere Kerry goes? So far in the past week, President Bush has followed John Kerry to Davenport, Iowa; New Mexico; Las Vegas; Los Angeles; and he follows him to Portland, Oregon. The only place he never followed John Kerry was Vietnam.

  Jay Leno

  Past, Vegas, Portland Oregon

  "Bush Goes Off Message". www.washingtonpost.com. August 13, 2004.

• With the presidential debates right around the corner, John Kerry is going to play Mitt Romney to help the President prepare for the debates. That's kind of a stretch; a rich white guy from Massachusetts playing a rich white guy from Massachusetts.

  Jay Leno

  Play, White, Guy

• They had a profile of John Kerry on the news and they said his first wife was worth around $300 million and his second wife, his current wife, is worth around $700 million. So when John Kerry says he's going after the wealthy in this country, he's not just talking. He's doing it!

  Jay Leno

  Country, Talking, Wife

• John Kerry now getting slammed by the Republicans because of a botched joke he did about President Bush and Iraq in a recent speech. Kerry was stunned about this. He said, 'What? People are listening to my speeches?'

  Jay Leno

  Iraq, People, Listening

• A number of plastic surgeons are claiming that looking at John Kerry now, as opposed to a few months ago, they believe he's had Botox shots. They claim a number of his worry lines have vanished. They haven't vanished, just Howard Dean is wearing them now.

  Jay Leno

  Believe, Numbers, Worry

• The Boston Globe is reporting that Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry used to date actress Morgan Fairchild but it didn't work out. Apparently she couldn't handle dating someone with bigger hair then she had.

  Jay Leno

  Dating Someone, Hair, Boston

• One critic in the L.A. Times said John Kerry looks like he is thinking too much. Well this is one place President Bush has him beat.

  Jay Leno

  Thinking, President, Looks

• Here's some exciting news - according to The New York Post, both Al Gore and John Kerry are thinking of running for president in 2008. Gore and Kerry again! Political experts say it's too early to tell who would lose bigger!

  Jay Leno

  Running, New York, Thinking

• Kerry is saying that Bush never showed up for his national guard duty ... and now Bush is on the attack. He's accusing John Kerry of ducking time in the national guard by hiding out in the jungles of Vietnam.

  Jay Leno

  Vietnam, Hiding, Accusing

• Courtney Love said she once escorted Kerry to a concert. John Kerry once went out with Courtney Love and he's questioning Bush's judgment.

  Jay Leno

  Judgment, Said, Concerts

• John Kerry met with Ralph Nader last week. Both sides of every issue were discussed. And then, Nader spoke.

  Jay Leno

  Issues, Lasts, Sides

• John Kerry has apologized for saying those who do not study hard and do their homework will get stuck in Iraq. Now, those that do not campaign well and are boring will end up stuck in the Senate.

  Jay Leno

  Iraq, Campaigns, Homework

  "The Money Just Wasn't There for Kerry". www.politico.com. January 24, 2007.

• John Kerry suspended his campaign for five days this week in honor of President Reagan. And right now, he's ahead in the polls. How's that make him feel? Disappears for a week and he's up in the polls. What else can he do now but go into hiding.

  Jay Leno

  Honor, President, Campaigns

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