Jay Leno Quotes About Taxes

Quotes about: Taxes

• In Greece, the unemployment rate has risen to 22%. The solution to the problem was to raise taxes on the rich, according to the Greek president Barack Obama-opolis.

  Jay Leno

  Greek, President, Unemployment

• Oh, here's your tax dollars at work. This is what makes people furious. The head of the GSA, a woman named Martha Johnson, has resigned after they found out she spent over $830,000 on a four-day government conference in Las Vegas. And the president is furious. Not President Obama, the president of China. It's his money. It's his money she spent.

  Jay Leno

  Vegas, Government, People

• President Obama released his tax returns. It turns out he made $900,000 less in 2011 then he did in 2010. You know what that means? Even Obama is doing worse under President Obama.

  Jay Leno

  Mean, President, Return

• Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That's a red flag

  Jay Leno

  Red Flags, Taxes Funny, Example

• A survey says that American workers work the first three hours every day just to pay their taxes. So that's why we can't get anything done in the morning: We're government workers.

  Jay Leno

  Funny, Morning, Humor

• The healthcare reform bill now includes a tanning booth tax of 10 percent. You know what this means? This whole thing could be funded by the cast of 'Jersey Shore.'

  Jay Leno

  Mean, Healthcare Reform, Bills

• When Clinton said he was going to create 8 million new jobs, I didn't think they were all going to be tax collectors.

  Jay Leno

  Jobs, Thinking, New Job

• The IRS said today anyone with a refund coming from their 2001 taxes will lose it if they don't pick it up by April 15th. If it is more then three years they will just keep it. How come it doesn't work that way with back taxes?

  Jay Leno

  Years, Three, Irs

• Mitt Romney is coming under fire because even though he is a multimillionaire, he only paid 15 percent in taxes. That's not a tax, that's barely a tip.

  Jay Leno

  Fire, Taxes, Percent

• Yesterday President Obama said, 'We can't continue to treat tax money like monopoly money.' Oh really - how come all those guys on Wall Street got 'get out of jail free' cards?

  Jay Leno

  Wall, Yesterday, Jail

• So, it's pretty crazy. Look, we're bailing out Wall Street, we're bailing out banks, we're bailing out car companies. In fact, did you know there's a special box on your tax form this year you can check if you want a portion of your taxes to actually go to running the government?

  Jay Leno

  Running, Wall, Crazy

• 65% of people say that cheating on your income tax is worse than cheating on your spouse. The other 35% were women.

  Jay Leno

  Cheating, People, Income

• President Obama has announced a task force to review the tax codes. He's concerned there are too many loopholes and too many people manipulating the system to avoid paying taxes. And that's just in his administration.

  Jay Leno

  People, President, Administration

• Jesse Jackson's in trouble. They're going after this tax thing. Jesse said he will amend his taxes to show the money that he paid to his mistress. See, he has just one mistress. Jesse uses the standard mistress deduction. As opposed to Clinton, who had to itemize.

  Jay Leno

  Mistress, Use, Trouble

• Rick Perry unveiled his new tax plan. He says he wants a flat tax. He believes that tax should be flat, just like the earth.

  Jay Leno

  Believe, Earth, Want

• We ought to thank President Bush. He made it a lot easier for people to do taxes this year. No job, no income tax this year.

  Jay Leno

  Jobs, Years, People

• Warren Buffett's company reportedly owes the IRS a billion dollars in back taxes. When he said he wasn't paying enough taxes, he wasn't kidding.

  Jay Leno

  Dollars, Irs, Warren Buffet

• President Bush released his tax returns yesterday. He listed the economy as a liability. He gets to write that off.

  Jay Leno

  Writing, Yesterday, President

• After saying the jobs bill is paid for, President Obama now says that it will be paid for by raising taxes over 10 years. I can't figure out if he's the kind of guy who makes infomercials, or the kind of guy who falls for infomercials.

  Jay Leno

  Jobs, Fall, Years

• Arnold Schwarzenegger made his tax returns public, [and] now there's a problem about him stretching the truth. Apparently under occupation he put down 'actor.'

  Jay Leno

  Actors, Occupation, Return

• President Obama wants to raise taxes on the country's richest people. And you thought Donald Trump hated him before.

  Jay Leno

  Country, People, President

• If it turns out that the Mayans are right and the world is going to end, you know what this means?
  Lindsay Lohan is a genius. She's been partying her brains out. She owes taxes. She’s crashing cars. She’s a genius!

  Jay Leno

  Party, Mean, Car

• Today, President Barack Obama promised to 'detect and pursue' American tax evaders, as opposed to his first 100 days, in which he detected and nominated American tax evaders.

  Jay Leno

  President, Today, Firsts

• Clinton vetoed the repeal of the marriage tax. I guess Bill figures if he's married, then we all have to suffer.

  Jay Leno

  Suffering, Bills, Married

• Denmark is charging a fat food tax on cheese, meat, and oil. Here, we call that the Denny's Grand Slam breakfast.

  Jay Leno

  Oil, Denmark, Cheese

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