Jay Leno Quotes About Taliban

Quotes about: Taliban

• More bad news for the Taliban. Remember how they are promised 72 virgins when they die? Turns out that it's only one 72-year-old virgin.

  Jay Leno

  Years, News, Remember

• In Afghanistan, U.S. troops are now holding an American man who has been fighting alongside the Taliban. His mother says he was born in Washington, D.C. and his father's a lawyer. Well, that explains it. ... He surrendered to authorities and said he wants to go back to his old job - airline security guard.

  Jay Leno

  Mother, Jobs, Father

• One of the Taliban spokesmen said they have thousands of men who look forward to death like Americans look forward to living, which is great because we can arrange that. We'll set them up with death, we'll continue living.

  Jay Leno

  Men, Looks, Said

• The big question now is who will take power in Afghanistan once the Taliban is defeated. I was thinking, how about Al Gore? He's not doing anything, he needs a job, and he's already got the beard.

  Jay Leno

  Jobs, Thinking, Needs

• Know what the Taliban leaders like to do for fun? Just sit around and get bombed.

  Jay Leno

  Fun, Leader, Taliban

• The Taliban has asked Osama bin Laden to voluntarily leave the country.They said they delivered him a note asking him to leave, which is a pretty goodtrick considering they claim they don't even know where he is.

  Jay Leno

  Country, Asking, Osama Bin Laden

• There are reports on the news tonight that members of the Taliban feel persecuted and fear their own safety. So now they know what it is like to feel like a woman in their country.

  Jay Leno

  Country, Safety, News

• There was a rumor that Jesse Jackson was going to go over there to talk with the Taliban, apparently they were having trouble rhyming the word Jihad.

  Jay Leno

  Rumor, Rhyming, Trouble

• French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too soon. The French are acting as advisers to the Taliban, to teach them how to surrender properly.

  Jay Leno

  Acting, Troops, Lasts

  "The Tonight Show", November 26, 2004.

• Johnny Walker, the American that fought for the Taliban, is now talking with an Arabic accent. Have you heard him? It's ridiculous. I know how we should handle him. Let's bring him back here and take him to Cleveland Browns stadium and dress him up as a referee. They'll know how to take care of him!

  Jay Leno

  Talking, Care, Cleveland

• Did you hear about this 20-year-old kid named John Walker from Northern California who was apparently fighting for the Taliban?... It didn't take long for the TV networks to jump on this Walker thing. CBS has a new show: 'Walker: Taliban Ranger.'

  Jay Leno

  Kids, Fighting, Years

• American Taliban John Walker Lindh has pleaded guilty to two counts of terrorism and will face twenty years in prison. I guess that means his jihad is on ji-hold.

  Jay Leno

  Mean, Two, Years

• That American Taliban kid Johnny Walker was indicted today. Ten counts of terrorism. He could get 5 life sentences. In Taliban terms, that's 360 virgins.

  Jay Leno

  Kids, Today, Terrorism

• The leaders of the Taliban said today that killing bin Laden won't solve the problem. But, you know, it couldn't hurt.

  Jay Leno

  Hurt, Leader, Today

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