Jay Leno Quotes About Country

Quotes about: Country

• With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

  Jay Leno

  Country, Fire, Bird

• A dead body was discovered this week on the grounds of a country estate owned by Queen Elizabeth. The queen said today she hopes this serves as a reminder to anybody on her staff that there is a right way and a wrong way to polish sterling silver.

  Jay Leno

  Country, Queens, Body

• This is a strange country we live in. When it comes to electing a President, we get two choices. But when we have to select a Miss America, we get 50.

  Jay Leno

  Country, Two, America

• Climate experts say we should tell villagers in developing countries to reduce the amount of cooking smoke they generate to help fix global warming. You know, it's as if these people don't hate us enough already. I mean, they live in mud huts, they have thatch roofs, their clothes are made of straw. We pull up in a bunch of Humvees and SUVs going, 'Hey, you want to cut the smoke out of here?'

  Jay Leno

  Country, Hate, Mean

• President Bush spent the day calling names he couldn't pronounce in countries he never knew existed.

  Jay Leno

  Country, Names, Political

• The Senate is now considering increasing government subsidies for corn growers to produce more ethanol. If we produce enough ethanol we can postpone our next invasion of a Middle Eastern country for two to three years.

  Jay Leno

  Country, Fun, Government

• According to the latest L.A. Times poll, 75% of Californians believe the country is headed in the wrong direction. And 60% of Californians are so disillusioned, they're thinking about moving back to Mexico.

  Jay Leno

  Country, Believe, Moving

• Alaska Governor Sarah Palin pardoned a turkey, though she said she was amazed to find out that, besides being a bird, Turkey is also a country. Did you see that all over the Internet today? While Sarah Palin was pardoning a turkey, right behind her was a guy slaughtering turkeys. But, see, like most Internet stories, a little half-true. Turns out that, after a couple of minutes listening to Sarah Palin's voice, the turkeys said 'Kill us now.'

  Jay Leno

  Country, Couple, Alaska

• They say there are something like 12 million illegal immigrants in the country right now, with another half a million coming every year. Remember in the last election when the Democrats claimed there was two Americas? Turns out one of them was Mexico.

  Jay Leno

  Country, Years, Two

• According to the latest poll, a record 73 percent of Americans think the country is headed in the wrong direction. But the good news: Gas is so expensive that we'll never get there.

  Jay Leno

  Country, Thinking, News

• General Wesley Clark commented on Gore endorsing Howard Dean. He said endorsements don't win elections. Hey, in this country, votes don't even win elections.

  Jay Leno

  Country, Winning, Hey

• As you know, there were lots of huge marches around the country yesterday to protest the immigration laws. The marches had quite an impact on businesses. Restaurants had to close, construction sites had to shut down, the Yankees had to forfeit a game. ... Do you realize that Americans are now doing the jobs that immigrants won't do because they're out protesting?

  Jay Leno

  Country, Jobs, Impact

• China is now expected to surpass Japan as the 2nd richest country in the world. They could become the richest, but that's only if we pay them the money we owe them, and that's not going to happen.

  Jay Leno

  Country, Japan, Pay

• There are reports on the news tonight that members of the Taliban feel persecuted and fear their own safety. So now they know what it is like to feel like a woman in their country.

  Jay Leno

  Country, Safety, News

• The Taliban has asked Osama bin Laden to voluntarily leave the country.They said they delivered him a note asking him to leave, which is a pretty goodtrick considering they claim they don't even know where he is.

  Jay Leno

  Country, Asking, Osama Bin Laden

• Anyway, a spokesman for Barack Obama says the prisoners that are released from Guantanamo will either be sent back to their home countries or enter the New York City cab driver training program.

  Jay Leno

  Country, New York, Home

• As you know President Bush has been traveling around the country trying to sell his new Social Security plan. He wants to take our retirement money and invest it in the stock market. He says nothing can go wrong. I'll mention that to Martha Stewart the next time I see her.

  Jay Leno

  Country, Retirement, Trying

• Is it me or is President Bush's life starting to sound like a country song. He's from Texas, his dog just died, and it looks like he might lose his job. Next thing, his truck is going to break down.

  Jay Leno

  Country, Dog, Song

• Oliver North says he is very upset that John Walker could come back to this country and cash in on his celebrity status. He hates to see someone who did something wrong get rewarded by writing a book or getting a TV show out of it.

  Jay Leno

  Country, Hate, Book

• According to a new poll, 50 percent of Americans think the country is divided. The other 50 percent think it isn't.

  Jay Leno

  Country, Thinking, Polls

• The FDA is now warning people not to eat raw cookie dough this holiday season. Is that how fat we're getting in this country? Our ovens are too slow now?

  Jay Leno

  Country, Holiday, Fda

• John Kerry has promised to take this country back from the wealthy. Who better than the guy worth $700 million to take the country back? See, he knows how the wealthy think. He can spy on them at his country club, at his place in Palm Beach, at his house in the Hamptons. He's like a mole for the working man.

  Jay Leno

  Country, Beach, Men

• Republicans are now saying that Dan Rather should lose his job because he misled the country with bogus information. Which is odd because the Democrats are saying the exact same thing about President Bush.

  Jay Leno

  Country, Jobs, President

• With Halloween coming this weekend, they say not one person in the country is planning to dress up as Governor Sarah Palin. You know why? ... The costume costs $150,000.

  Jay Leno

  Country, Halloween, Weekend

• Senator John Kerry released his plan today to eliminate the deficit. He said all we have to do is find a really rich country like Switzerland and marry it.

  Jay Leno

  Country, Rich Countries, Switzerland

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