Jay Leno Quotes About Past

Quotes about: Past

• Is it me or is Bush going everywhere Kerry goes? So far in the past week, President Bush has followed John Kerry to Davenport, Iowa; New Mexico; Las Vegas; Los Angeles; and he follows him to Portland, Oregon. The only place he never followed John Kerry was Vietnam.

  Jay Leno

  Past, Vegas, Portland Oregon

  "Bush Goes Off Message". www.washingtonpost.com. August 13, 2004.

• The White House is defending President Obama's sports activities over the past week, saying that everyone needs leisure time. Thanks to these economic policies, 9.5 percent of Americans have all the leisure time they need.

  Jay Leno

  Sports, Past, White

• Bill Clinton is the only ex-president who hasn't planned his own funeral. But, in his defense, in the past he has said he wants to be buried next to Hillary. I guess he figures he never slept next to her when they were alive, might as well try it now that they're dead.

  Jay Leno

  Past, Funeral, Trying

• Those two pilots that sped 150 miles past their Minneapolis destination have been suspended. They got suspended because they were looking at their laptops instead of flying the plane. Think about this -- everybody else on the plane has to turn off their laptops except for the people flying the plane.

  Jay Leno

  Past, Thinking, Two

• I flew this past weekend. I went through airport security and said to the guy, 'Is everything okay?' He said, 'You might want to have that mole on your ass checked out.' That seems a little personal to me.

  Jay Leno

  Weekend, Past, Airports

• Nike actually has a pair of shoes called Air-Turbulence. Try getting past airline security wearing those. Might as well call them Air-Osama.

  Jay Leno

  Nike, Past, Air

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