Groucho Marx Quotes - Page 9

Quotes about:

• Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Horse, Crazy

  14 Copy quote

• Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Sexy, Sex And Love

  11 Copy quote

• A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Life, Women

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  16 Copy quote

• How much would you want to stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery?

  Groucho Marx

  Shooting, Want, Gallery

  "Fictional character: Wagstaff". "Horse Feathers", 1932.

  12 Copy quote

• She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.

  Groucho Marx

  Life, Party, Inspiration

  16 Copy quote

• I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.

  Groucho Marx

  Tape, Inches

  "Fictional character: S. Quentin Quale". "Go West", 1940.

  7 Copy quote

• It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa

  Groucho Marx

  Inspiration, Ivory, Alabama

  10 Copy quote

• Room service? Send up a larger room.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Witty, Crazy

  Room Service (motion picture) (1938). Screenplay by Morrie Ryskind.

  86 Copy quote

• Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket

  Groucho Marx

  Inspiration, Florida, Years

  The Cocoanuts (motion picture) (1929). Screenplay by George S. Kaufman.

  8 Copy quote

• If you take cranberries and stew them like apple sauce, it tastes much more like prunes than rhubarb does.

  Groucho Marx

  Apples, Doe, Sauce

  23 Copy quote

• My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

  Groucho Marx

  Love, Funny, Mothers Day

  12 Copy quote

• Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood

  Groucho Marx

  Inspiration, Boys, Hollywood

  6 Copy quote

• Remember, the grass is always greener where you don't happen to be the neighbor.

  Groucho Marx

  Life, Remember, Neighbor

  Groucho Marx (2007). “The Groucho Letters: Letters from and to Groucho Marx”, p.62, Simon and Schuster

  7 Copy quote

• I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.

  Groucho Marx

  Hate, Book, Thinking

  Groucho Marx (2009). “Groucho And Me”, p.29, Da Capo Press

  10 Copy quote

• TV is the rat race of the century.

  Groucho Marx

  Race, Rats, Tvs

  8 Copy quote

• If you were a man, you'd go into business
  for yourself. I know a fellow who started out last year with just a
  canoe. Now he's got more women than you can shake a stick at, if
  that's your idea of a good time.

  Groucho Marx

  Men, Ideas, Years

  10 Copy quote

• I'm not going to pay good money to join a club that lets in people like me.

  Groucho Marx

  People, Clubs, Pay

  5 Copy quote

• You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Crazy, Silly

  Groucho Marx (2000). “The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx”, Vintage

  9 Copy quote

• It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Witty, Cousin

  10 Copy quote

• You're only as young as the woman you feel.

  Groucho Marx

  Young, Feels

  4 Copy quote

• Only if the computers really love each other.

  Groucho Marx

  Being Single, Computer, Love Each Other

  8 Copy quote

• There was no need to inform us of the protocol involved. We were from Chicago and knew all about cement.

  Groucho Marx

  Cities, Chicago, Needs

  14 Copy quote

• Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  8 Copy quote

• I've been around so long, I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Witty, Sex

  Quoted in Max Wilk, The Wit and Wisdom of Hollywood (1972)

  5 Copy quote

• When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth"

  Groucho Marx

  Inspiration, Kissing, Wife

  7 Copy quote

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