Groucho Marx Quotes - Page 6

Quotes about:

• I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago...I shot my broker.

  Groucho Marx

  Wall, Inspiration, Years

  28 Copy quote

• Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.

  Groucho Marx

  Love, Funny, Witty

  Monkey Business (motion picture) (1931). Screenplay by Will B. Johnstone and S. J. Perelman.

  15 Copy quote

• A thing that has always baffled me about women is that they will saturate themselves with a pint of perfume, a pound of sachet powder, an evil-smelling lip rouge, a peculiar-smelling hair ointment and a half-dozen varieties of body oils, and then have the effrontery to complain of the aroma of a fine dollar cigar.

  Groucho Marx

  Women, Hair, Oil

  12 Copy quote

• I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing

  Groucho Marx

  Inspiration, Writing, Mail

  Groucho Marx (2007). “The Groucho Letters: Letters from and to Groucho Marx”, p.48, Simon and Schuster

  26 Copy quote

• I think you've got something there, but I'll wait outside until you clean it up.

  Groucho Marx

  Inspiration, Thinking, Waiting

  "Fictional character: Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff". "Horse Feathers", www.imdb.com. 1932.

  24 Copy quote

• Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Humor, Insult

  Monkey Business (motion picture) (1931). Screenplay by Will B. Johnstone and S. J. Perelman.

  14 Copy quote

• I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove

  Groucho Marx

  Inspiration, Kitchen, Hot

  11 Copy quote

• The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Life, Witty

  13 Copy quote

• One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.

  Groucho Marx

  Marriage, Retirement, Wife

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  8 Copy quote

• I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member.

  Groucho Marx

  Country, Clubs, Lows

  7 Copy quote

• Blood's not thicker than money.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Money, Inspiration

  16 Copy quote

• Wages? You want to be wage slaves? Answer me that! Of course not. What is it that makes wage slaves? Wages! I want you to be free. Strike off your chains! Strike up the band! Strike three you're out! Remember, there's nothing like Liberty, except Colliers and The Saturday Evening Post. Be free, now and forever. One and individual. One for all and all for me, and tea for two and six for a quarter.

  Groucho Marx

  Wisdom, Two, Forever

  17 Copy quote

• I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Sarcastic, Crazy

  27 Copy quote

• I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Crazy, Silly

  20 Copy quote

• You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you

  Groucho Marx

  Beautiful, Inspiration, Beautiful Women

  38 Copy quote

• Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while

  Groucho Marx

  Inspiration, Whales, Used

  11 Copy quote

• You're heading for a breakdown. Why don't you pull yourself to pieces?

  Groucho Marx

  Inspiration, Pieces, Breakdown

  "Fictional character: Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff". "Horse Feathers", www.imdb.com. 1932.

  8 Copy quote

• In France, for example, it is not unusual for a husband to have a wife and a mistress. However, if in addition to these two he's also having a fling with a fringe tootsie, both the wife and the mistress are outraged and the combination lover, husband, and cheat may well wind up with a large French bread knife between his ribs.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Husband, Humorous

  Groucho Marx (2008). “Memoirs Of A Mangy Lover”, p.192, Da Capo Press

  8 Copy quote

• He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.

  Groucho Marx

  Drinking, Inspiration, Alcohol

  "Fictional character: S. Quentin Quale". "Go West", www.imdb.com. 1940.

  12 Copy quote

• A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Laughter, Children

  10 Copy quote

• I've met a lot of pin-up girls, but I've never been able to pin one down

  Groucho Marx

  Girl, Inspiration, Able

  "Fictional character: Ronald Kornblow". A Night in Casablanca, 1946.

  20 Copy quote

• You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  9 Copy quote

• I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.

  Groucho Marx

  Inspiration, Ends, Vulture

  Groucho Marx (2007). “The Groucho Letters: Letters from and to Groucho Marx”, p.211, Simon and Schuster

  22 Copy quote

• But what makes wage slaves? Wages!

  Groucho Marx

  Inspiration, Wages, Slave

  "Fictional character: Hammer". "The Cocoanuts", www.imdb.com. 1929.

  8 Copy quote

• Do you mind if I don't smoke?

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  "Fictional character: Captain Jeffrey Spaulding". "Animal Crackers", www.imdb.com. 1930.

  13 Copy quote

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