Groucho Marx Quotes - Page 10

Quotes about:

• This would be a better place for children if parents had to eat spinach.

  Groucho Marx

  Children, Stupidity, Parent

  17 Copy quote

• If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Inspiration, Humorous

  Groucho Marx (2000). “The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx”, Vintage

  18 Copy quote

• Send two dozen roses to Room 424 and put "Emily, I love you" on the back of the bill.

  Groucho Marx

  Love, Funny, Crazy

  5 Copy quote

• Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy

  Groucho Marx

  Book, Inspiration, Healthy

  7 Copy quote

• Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water.

  Groucho Marx

  Art, Hands, Water

  "Fictional character:". "Animal Crackers", www.imdb.com. 1930.

  22 Copy quote

• I hate London when it's not raining.

  Groucho Marx

  Travel, Hate, Rain

  "Whatever happened to ... the national water grid?" by Iain Hollingshead, www.theguardian.com. April 14, 2006.

  10 Copy quote

• Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.

  Groucho Marx

  Precious Stones, Comedian, Gold

  Groucho Marx (2009). “Groucho And Me”, p.69, Da Capo Press

  5 Copy quote

• I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Hate, Rain

  15 Copy quote

• I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Inspiration, Humor

  10 Copy quote

• Hello, I must be going.

  Groucho Marx

  Inspiration, Hello

  Animal Crackers (motion picture) (1930). Screenplay by George S. Kaufman and Morrie Ryskind.

  9 Copy quote

• I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  Censored line, You Bet Your Life (radio and television program) (1947 - 1961).

  13 Copy quote

• My plans are still in embryo, a town on the edge of wishful thinking.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  8 Copy quote

• Do they allow tipping on the boat? - Yes, sir. Have you got two fives? - Oh, yes, sir. Then you won't need the ten cents I was going to give you.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Humor, Two

  9 Copy quote

• Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he's unknown throughout the world.

  Groucho Marx

  Success, America, World

  8 Copy quote

• Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Death, Watches

  A Day at the Races (motion picture) (1937). Screenplay by Robert Pirosh, George Seaton, and George Oppenheimer.

  16 Copy quote

• I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book. ANOTHER VERSION I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. ANOTHER VERSION I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.

  Groucho Marx

  Educational, Book, Library

  11 Copy quote

• I'd have liked to have gone to bed with Jean Harlow. She was a beautiful broad. The fellow who married her was impotent and he killed himself. I would have done the same thing.

  Groucho Marx

  Beautiful, Bed, Gone

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  7 Copy quote

• I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.

  Groucho Marx

  People, Clubs, Want

  5 Copy quote

• You're a great brother. You give us a heart attack worrying about your heart attack, which you didn't even have the decency to have!

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Witty, Brother

  10 Copy quote

• A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.

  Groucho Marx

  Smell, Six, Inches

  "Fictional character: Emile J. Keck". "Double Dynamite", www.imdb.com. 1951.

  12 Copy quote

• I am a man and you are a woman. I can't think of a better arrangement.

  Groucho Marx

  Marriage, Men, Thinking

  6 Copy quote

• Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life

  Groucho Marx

  Inspiration, Turkeys, Two

  7 Copy quote

• I could dance with you till the cows come home. Better still, I'll dance with the cows and you come home." Groucho Marx was never one to pass up an opportunity for a play on words and this occurs in his dialogue of the 1933 film Duck Soup.

  Groucho Marx

  Home, Opportunity, Play

  7 Copy quote

• The Alps are a simple folk, living on a diet of old shoes. And the Lord Alps those who alp themselves.

  Groucho Marx

  Simple, Shoes, Alps

  13 Copy quote

• In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

  Groucho Marx

  Wedding, Hollywood, Bouquets

  16 Copy quote

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