Groucho Marx Quotes - Page 13

Quotes about:

• I started smoking as soon as I went on the stage. I'd make cigars out of the Morning World when I was a kid.

  Groucho Marx

  Morning, Kids, Smoking

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Here lies Groucho Marx and Lies and Lies and Lies P.S. He never kissed an ugly girl.

  Groucho Marx

  Girl, Tombstone, Lying

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• I hope they bury me near a strait man

  Groucho Marx

  Inspiration, Men

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• Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.

  Groucho Marx

  Mean, Hey, Maids

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• Every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.

  Groucho Marx

  Rooms, Tvs, Turns

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• I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how!

  Groucho Marx

  Needs, Teach, Kicks

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• Mrs. Teasdale calls for rescue and Firefly delivers the famous line to his cohorts as they rescue her: "Remember, you're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did."

  Groucho Marx

  Women, Firefly, Fighting

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• You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.

  Groucho Marx

  Shy, Lawyer

  Monkey Business (motion picture) (1931). Screenplay by Will B. Johnstone and S. J. Perelman.

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• Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  Groucho Marx (2008). “Memoirs Of A Mangy Lover”, p.94, Da Capo Press

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• If it gets any hotter in here I could use a big fan.

  Groucho Marx

  Fans, Use, Hotter

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• And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

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• That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.

  Groucho Marx

  Eight, Alarms, Opera

  "Fictional character: Otis B. Driftwood". "A Night at the Opera", www.imdb.com. Npvember 1, 1935.

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• I know a member of one of New York's first families (first as you drive up Tenth Avenue)

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, New York, Humorous

  Groucho Marx (2008). “Memoirs Of A Mangy Lover”, p.86, Da Capo Press

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• I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me." "What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself?" "Sure she could. I just found that out too late.

  Groucho Marx

  Nurse, Too Late, Care

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• Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny Love, Silly, Writing

  "Fictional character: Wolf J. Flywheel". "The Big Store", 1941.

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• He thinks I look alike!

  Groucho Marx

  Thinking, Looks

  Groucho Marx (2000). “The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx”, Vintage

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• The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Humor, Loss

  Groucho Marx (2008). “Memoirs Of A Mangy Lover”, p.33, Da Capo Press

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• That's bad luck: three on a midget. From "At The Circus

  Groucho Marx

  Luck, Three, Circus

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• I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name.

  Groucho Marx

  Thinking, Names, Would Be

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