Dave Barry Quotes - Page 4

Quotes about:

• The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremendous boredom.

  Dave Barry

  Sarcastic, Fitness, Sarcasm

  Dave Barry (1985). “Dave Barry's Stay Fit and Healthy Until You're Dead”, p.13, Rodale

  53 Copy quote

• It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Hilarious, Witty

  Dave Barry (2013). “My Teenage Son's Goal in Life Is to Make Me Feel 3,500 Years Old: and Other Thoughts on Parenting from Dave Barry”, p.100, Andrews McMeel Publishing

  94 Copy quote

• I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990.

  Dave Barry

  Inspiring, Weight Loss, Years

  31 Copy quote

• As sensitive and broad-minded humans, we must never allow ourselves to be in any way judgmental of the religious practices of other people, even when these people clearly are raving space loons.

  Dave Barry

  Religious, Space, Practice

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up”, p.47, Ballantine Books

  20 Copy quote

• What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth ? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Humor, Science

  15 Copy quote

• The method (of learning Japanese) recommended by experts is to be born as a Japanese baby and raised by a Japanese family, in Japan. And even then it's not easy.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Baby, Humorous

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry Does Japan”, p.20, Ballantine Books

  18 Copy quote

• Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Humor, Science

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry Talks Back”, p.48, Crown Archetype

  86 Copy quote

• We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.

  Dave Barry

  Objectivity, Literature, Littles

  13 Copy quote

• My theory is that there is a finite amount of intelligence in a family, and you're supposed to gradually transfer it to your children over a period of many years. This is why your parents started to get so stupid just at the time in your life when you were getting really smart.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Children, Smart

  Dave Barry (1984). “Babies and Other Hazards of Sex: How to Make a Tiny Person in Only 9 Months, with Tools You Probably Have Around the Home”, p.72, Rodale

  5 Copy quote

• The easiest way to make a fruitcake is to buy a darkish cake, then pound some old, hard fruit into it with a mallet. Be sure to wear safety glasses.

  Dave Barry

  Humorous, Glasses, Cake

  27 Copy quote

• DNA is an abbreviation for deoxyribonucleicantidisestablishmentarianism, a complex string of syllables.

  Dave Barry

  Dna, Abbreviations, Strings

  Dave Barry (2009). “Dave Barry Is from Mars and Venus”, p.146, Ballantine Books

  6 Copy quote

• What I need is a search engine that, no matter what I type in, comes back with GO BACK TO WORK.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Technology, Needs

  Twitter post from Jun 16, 2009

  5 Copy quote

• Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.

  Dave Barry

  Movie, Sports, Art

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  79 Copy quote

• Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.

  Dave Barry

  Business, Self, Organization

  Dave Barry (1994). “The World According to Dave Barry”, Outlet

  17 Copy quote

• During the warm season (August 8 and 9), Maine is a true vacation paradise, offering visitors a chance to jump into crystal-clear mountain lakes and see if they can get back out again before their bodily tissue is frozen as solid as a supermarket turkey.

  Dave Barry

  Vacation, Lakes, Offering

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need”, p.80, Ballantine Books

  7 Copy quote

• I hope I don't sound like an old-fashioned stick-in-the-mud, but when I hear about people making vast fortunes without doing any productive work or contributing anything to society, my reaction is: “How can I get in on that?

  Dave Barry

  Productive Work, People, Sound

  16 Copy quote

• I tell people view the federal government as a source of entertainment. It's a lot easier.

  Dave Barry

  Government, Views, People

  Source: www.writersdigest.com

  6 Copy quote

• As you get older; you've probably noticed that you tend to forget things. You'll be talking with somebody at a party, and you'll know that you know this person, but no matter how hard you try, you can't remember his or her name. This can be very embarassing, especially if he or she turns out to be your spouse.

  Dave Barry

  Marriage, Party, Talking

  Dave Barry (1994). “The World According to Dave Barry”, Outlet

  12 Copy quote

• Panicky despair is an underrated element of writing.

  Dave Barry

  Writing, Despair, Elements

  13 Copy quote

• It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.

  Dave Barry

  Travel, Rain, Opportunity

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need”, p.158, Ballantine Books

  51 Copy quote

• There is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness.

  Dave Barry

  Lines, Hobbies, Mental Illness

  Dave Barry (1998). “Dave Barry Turns 50”, Crown

  52 Copy quote

• Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard.

  Dave Barry

  Dog, Yards, Events

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry Talks Back”, p.120, Crown Archetype

  14 Copy quote

• Perhaps you are thinking: 'But a tank costs several million dollars, not including floor mats. I don't have that kind of money.' Don't be silly. You're a consumer, right? You have credit cards, right? Perhaps you are thinking: 'Yes, but how am I going to pay the credit-card company?' Don't be silly. You have a tank, right?

  Dave Barry

  Silly, Thinking, Tanks

  14 Copy quote

• Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.

  Dave Barry

  Girly, Simple, Men

  24 Copy quote

• We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it.

  Dave Barry

  Country, Scotland, America

  Dave Barry (1991). “Dave Barry's guide to life”, Random House Value Publishing

  6 Copy quote

Page 4 of 33

First

← Prev

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

Next →

• facebook
• twitter
• googleplus
• email
• linkedin