Dave Barry Quotes About Boat

Quotes about: Boat

• Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

  Dave Barry

  Lakes, Sea, Fishing

  Dave Barry (2009). “Dave Barry Is from Mars and Venus”, p.104, Ballantine Books

• I shared this insight with some other boat owners, and they all agreed that, definitely, putting your boar into the water is asking for trouble. Most of them have had their boats sitting in their driveways long enough to be registered historical landmarks.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Long, Water

• The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins.

  Dave Barry

  Trust, Food, Lakes

• There is nothing as relaxing as being out on the open sea, listening to the waves and the wind and the sails and voices downstairs yelling "HOW DO YOU FLUSH THESE TOILETS?"

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Yelling, Wind

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry Talks Back”, p.90, Crown Archetype

• It takes a minimum of six people, working in close harmony, to successfully flush a nautical toilet. That's why those old ships carried such large crews.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, People, Sailing

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry Talks Back”, p.90, Crown Archetype

• You have to be careful on the deck, because of the "hatches," which are holes placed around a sailboat at random to increase the insurance rates.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Sailing, Boat

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry Talks Back”, p.93, Crown Archetype

• It was not easy victory in the America Cup. Our boys spent years experimenting with different designs for their boat before they came up with the innovative idea of having a submerged nuclear submarine tow it.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Boys, Years

  Dave Barry (1994). “The World According to Dave Barry”, Outlet

• Fortunately the boat we rented had a motor in it You will definitely want this feature on your sailboat too, because if you put up the sails, the boat tips way over, and you could spill your beer.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Beer, Sailing

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Greatest Hits”, p.226, Ballantine Books

• He's a boating enthusiast, although that phrase seems too weak to describe the level of his interest, kind of like describing someone as a heroin fancier.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Sailing, Phrases

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up”, p.118, Ballantine Books

• Sailboats are the slowest form of transportation on Earth with the possible exeption of airline flights that go through O'Hare.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Humorous, Food

• The books all say that barracuda rarely eat people, but very few barracuda can read.

  Dave Barry

  Book, Lakes, Sea

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up”, p.135, Ballantine Books

• Millions of Americans own dogs, because they are good-natured, simple, and easily amused. I am referring here to the Americans. The dogs are not exactly Mensa members either, but they definitely make better pets than tropical fish.

  Dave Barry

  Dog, Simple, Rivers

• Here in Miami, on weekends, amusement-seekers will come to the marina, set up folding chairs, and spend a highly entertaining day watching boat owners perform comical maneuvers such as forgetting to set their parking brakes and having their cars roll down the ramp and disappear, burbling gaily, below the surface.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Weekend, Car

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry Talks Back”, p.88, Crown Archetype

• But if I hadn't shoved you off the boat back there,you'd be lost at sea now,wouldn't you? We'd all be lost! So thanks to me you're all standing on land." (Pirates, its a good thing they're idiots)

  Dave Barry

  Sea, Land, Pirate

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