Dave Barry Quotes About Universe

Quotes about: Universe

• If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will not use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

  Dave Barry

  Atheist, Humanity, Religion

  Dave Barry (1998). “Dave Barry Turns 50”, Crown

• Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers.

  Dave Barry

  Dog, Tape, Fundamentals

• The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Witty, Block

• Aside from velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe. You can't see it or touch it, yet a plumber can charge you upwards of seventy-five dollars per hour for it, without necessarily fixing anything.

  Dave Barry

  Time, Dollars, Substance

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry Turns Forty”, p.94, Ballantine Books

• The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

  Dave Barry

  Powerful, Pay The Price, Civilization

  Dave Barry (1998). “Dave Barry Turns 50”, Crown

• Yet another spunky li'l NASA robot lands and begins transmitting back photographs of rocks that appear virtually identical to the rock photos beamed back by all the other spunky li'l NASA robots, thus confirming suspicions that the universe has a LOT of rocks in it.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Science, Rocks

  Dave Barry (2007). “Dave Barry's History of the Millennium (So Far)”, p.108, Penguin

• We have been flooded with postal cards from all over the United States and several parallel universes. Just a quick glance though these cards is enough to remind you why this great nation, despite all the talk of decline, still leads the world in tranquilizer consumption.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Humorous, America

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry Talks Back”, p.190, Crown Archetype

• ...light overcomes darkenss. A tiny match can illuminate the darkest room. As long as there is some light somewhere in the universe, [darkness] can be defeated.

  Dave Barry

  Light, Long, Darkness

• Aside from Velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe.

  Dave Barry

  Substance, Velcro, Mysterious

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry Turns Forty”, p.94, Ballantine Books

• The universe has fascinated mankind for many, many years, dating back to the very earliest episodes of Star Trek, when the brave crew of the Enterprise set out, wearing pajamas, to explore the boundless voids of space, which turned out to be as densely populated as Queens, New York. Virtually every planet they found was inhabited, usually by evil beings with cheap costumes and Russian accents, so finally the brave crew of the Enterprise returned to Earth to gain weight and make movies.

  Dave Barry

  Stars, Queens, New York

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Greatest Hits”, p.270, Ballantine Books

• At least once per year, some group of scientists will become very excited and announce that:
  •The universe is even bigger than they thought!
  •There are even more subatomic particles than they thought!
  •Whatever they announced last year about global warming is wrong.

  Dave Barry

  Years, Groups, Lasts

  Dave Barry (1999). “Dave Barry Turns 50”, Random House Digital, Inc.

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