Dave Barry Quotes About Food

Quotes about: Food

• The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins.

  Dave Barry

  Trust, Food, Lakes

• A hundred years ago, it could take you the better part of a year to get from New York to California; whereas today, because of equipment problems at O'Hare, you can't get there at all.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, New York, Humorous

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need”, p.9, Ballantine Books

• The Russians will never be able to get their missiles thought the dense protective layer of delayed flights circling over the United States in complex, puke-inducing holding patterns.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Humorous, Food

• Airline food is not intended for human consumption. It's intended as a form of in-flight entertainment, wherein the object is to guess what it is, starting with broad categories such as "mineral" and "linoleum."

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Humorous, Food

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need”, p.39, Ballantine Books

• The planes are crowded and noisy and late, and everybody hates everybody. If armed terrorists had tried to hijack any of the flights I've been on lately, we passengers would have swiftly beaten them to death with those hard rolls you get with your in-flight meals.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Hate, Humorous

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Greatest Hits”, p.127, Ballantine Books

• If the security personnel do their job properly, they just might cause you to miss your plane, thereby possibly saving your life.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Jobs, Humorous

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need”, p.46, Ballantine Books

• Funny, isn't it? The airlines go to all that trouble to keep you from taking a gun on board, then they just hand you a dinner roll you could kill a musk ox with.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Humorous, Food

  Dave Barry (1994). “The World According to Dave Barry”, Outlet

• I had arrived at the airport one hour early so that, in accordance with airline procedures, I could stand around.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Humorous, Food

  Dave Barry (2011). “Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down”, p.94, Ballantine Books

• If Charles Lindbergh, flying with no instruments other than a bologna sandwich, managed to cross the Atlantic and land safely on a runway completely covered with French people, why are today's airplanes, which are equipped with radar and computers and individualized liquor bottles, unable to cope with fog?

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Humorous, Food

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Greatest Hits”, p.234, Ballantine Books

• Motto of the U.S. airline industry - "We're Hoping to Have a Motto Announcement in About an Hour."

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Humorous, Food

• This year, U.S. airlineswill carry a record 143 million passengers, who will be in the air for 382 million hours, during which they will be fed an estimated total of four peanuts.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Humorous, Food

  Dave Barry (2011). “Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down”, p.139, Ballantine Books

• The Hawaiian Islands were discovered by hardy Polynesian sailors, who crossed thousands of miles of open ocean in primitive canoes, braving violent storm-tossed seas for months at a time. My family and I arrived by modern commercial aviation, which was infinitely worse.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Humorous, Ocean

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry Talks Back”, p.107, Crown Archetype

• In modern America, food is abundant everywhere except aboard commercial airplanes.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Humorous, Food

• This book is dedicated to Wilbur and Orville Wright, without whom air sickness would still be just a dream.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Dream, Humorous

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need”, p.5, Ballantine Books

• Granted, this system is insane, but we must not let sanity stand in the way of airport security.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Humorous, Food

  Dave Barry (2003). “Boogers Are My Beat: More Lies, but Some Actual Journalism”, p.182, Crown Archetype

• My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.

  Dave Barry

  Inspirational, Funny, Fitness

• Sailboats are the slowest form of transportation on Earth with the possible exeption of airline flights that go through O'Hare.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Humorous, Food

• Speaking of food, English cuisine has received a lot of unfair criticism over the years, but the truth is that it can be a very pleasant surprise to the connoisseur of severely overcooked livestock organs served in lukewarm puddles of congealed grease. England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.

  Dave Barry

  Food, School, Years

  "Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need". Book by Dave Barry, 1991.

• In Spain, attempting to obtain a chicken salad sandwich, you wind up with a dish whose name, when you look it up in your Spanish-English dictionary, turns out to mean: Eel with big abcess.

  Dave Barry

  Food, Mean, Wind

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