Dave Barry Quotes About Mothers

Quotes about: Mothers

• Far too often, we fathers avoid the subject because it's so awkward. The subject I am referring to is: buying gifts for women. This is an area where many men do not have a clue. Exhibit A was my father, who was a very thoughtful man, but who once gave my mother, on their anniversary, the following token of his love, his commitment, and-yes-his passion for her: an electric blanket.

  Dave Barry

  Fathers Day, Mother, Passion

• Mother Nature clearly intended for us to get our food from the "patty" group, which includes hamburgers, fish sticks, and McNuggets- foods that have had all of their organs safely removed.

  Dave Barry

  Mother, Groups, Hamburgers

  Dave Barry (2009). “Dave Barry Is from Mars and Venus”, p.113, Ballantine Books

• Nobody is excused from the excellence trend. Babies are not excused. Starting right after they get out of the womb, modern babies are exposed to instructional flashcards designed to make them the best babies they can possibly be, so they can get into today's competitive preschools. Your eighties baby sees so many flashcards that he never gets an unobstructed view of his parents' faces. As an adult, he'll carry around a little wallet card that says "7x9=63," because it will remind him of mother.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Mother, Baby

• If you're like most members of the Baby Boom generation, you decided somewhere along the line, probably after about four margaritas, to have children. This was inevitable. Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom, has instilled within each of us a powerful biological instinct to reproduce; this is her way of assuring that the human race, come what may, will never have any disposable income.

  Dave Barry

  Mother, Baby, Children

  Dave Barry (1994). “The World According to Dave Barry”, Outlet

• I grew up in the Southwest Bronx. Father an accountant, mother a schoolteacher. Brother was six years older, which explains why I gobbled crystal meth at 12, smoked hashish at 13, and was shooting smack at 17, which explains how I got Hepatitis C, which was the basis of my first book, which was a humor book about dying.

  Dave Barry

  Mother, Brother, Father

  "Secrets of a Two-Time Pulitzer Winner". Interview with Michael Mechanic, www.motherjones.com. June 30, 2010.

• Advice to expectant mothers: you must remember that when you are pregnant, you are eating for two. But you must remember that the other one of you is about the size of a golf ball, so let's not go overboard with it. I mean, a lot of pregnant women eat as though the other person they're eating for is Orson Welles.

  Dave Barry

  Mother, Mean, Golf

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