Dave Barry Quotes About Stupidity

Quotes about: Stupidity

• Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

  Dave Barry

  God, Writing, Stupidity

• Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.

  Dave Barry

  God, Stupid, Abuse

• I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

  Dave Barry

  God, Ice, Stupidity

• Chair lifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them.

  Dave Barry

  God, Views, Stupidity

• And now, the Superstore - unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

  Dave Barry

  God, Stupidity, Size

• Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spiderwebs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests.

  Dave Barry

  God, Stupidity, Leeches

• Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One day he was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," she told him. With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.

  Dave Barry

  God, Years, Stupidity

• Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

  Dave Barry

  God, Appreciate, Stupidity

• For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.

  Dave Barry

  God, People, Stupidity

• Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill.

  Dave Barry

  God, Stupidity, Needs

• If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

  Dave Barry

  God, Swimming, Whales

• Dinner Special - Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00

  Dave Barry

  God, Children, Turkeys

• Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

  Dave Barry

  God, Jobs, Laughing

• Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse.

  Dave Barry

  God, Horse, Stupidity

• Sign at a Tennessee highway: When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.

  Dave Barry

  God, Water, Stupidity

• Murphy's golden rule: Whoever has the gold, makes the rules.

  Dave Barry

  God, Stupidity, Gold

• Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals.

  Dave Barry

  God, Animal, Walking Sticks

• Sign at a New England church: Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished?

  Dave Barry

  God, Light, Stupidity

• Too many rocks in the mountains.

  Dave Barry

  God, Rocks, Stupidity

• Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands.

  Dave Barry

  God, Hands, People

• Sign outside a country shop: We buy junk and sell antiques.

  Dave Barry

  God, Country, Stupidity

• Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike at night with flashlights.

  Dave Barry

  God, Night, Feet

• Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce worldwide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness.

  Dave Barry

  God, Numbers, Stupidity

• Sign at a Kentucky appliance store: Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.

  Dave Barry

  God, Dirty, Kentucky

• The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals.

  Dave Barry

  God, Animal, Night

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